


Getaway

by theimaginesyouneveraskedfor



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: As Fuck, F/M, Nomad Steve, and Wild, prepare your pussies, so steve is like bitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2020-05-16 03:21:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19309588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theimaginesyouneveraskedfor/pseuds/theimaginesyouneveraskedfor
Summary: The reader is away on vacation and finds something, or someone, in the woods.Warnings: noncon sex (oral and intercourse). This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So in my head, to make this work, after Civil War, Steve’s kinda running around on his own. He was on a mission and got separated from the team. He’s found himself in the middle of nowhere but no alone. 
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy some scurry Steve and let me know what you think as always. Love ya <3

It had been a few years since your last real vacation. Well ever, because who could really count that disastrous road trip as a vacation. Time away from it all; stress, work, your boyfriend. You loved him but you didn’t realize how much you needed time to just be you. A girl’s week on the northern shores was nothing to complain about and you were ready to take full advantage of the serenity. The isolation.

You deposited your cars at the docks and climbed aboard the small boat, crammed in with the luggage of four other girls, plus the girls themselves. It was Kaya’s family cottage, concealed by thick pine, aspens, and spectrum of fragrant foliage. After hours of driving, the sun was well into its descent and it was a race against daylight before the pearly ripples turning dark and foreboding.

You watched the shoreline come into sight. A small dock where you could see yourself sunbathing, a carpet of twigs and dirt turned to grass the further you ascended, the wooden deck that fronted the cottage peeked out from between the crowd of trees. A small stream trickled away from the dock; a small finger off the greater lake. You smelled the purity; the unfiltered wild. It was refreshing after the filth of the city.

After you docked, it took a couple trips up and down the trail to unload all the bags, and the two large coolers of assorted goodies. One was filled with all varieties of alcohol with more stored warm in a box. The other contained the more important staples; bacon, sausages, tofu, milk, eggs. Enough to feed your small army until another boat trip was made to the closest town.

Kaya claimed the master bedroom; your sister, Gia, and you shared the bunk beds across from those occupied by Camile and Milani, while Coretta took the fold-out sofa. All were situated by nightfall and cans were opened as sausages grilled on the stove. With the generator awaking from its seasonal sleep and the cabin groaning in welcome, you settled in for a late night of cards and rowdiness.

The first morning greeted you in a golden dawn. You drank your coffee on the dock and spent most of daylight reading a book in the sun. The hours were punctuated by empty cans and drained bottles. You fed your buzz enough to relax and lose yourself in the natural lull of the lake. After dinner, you tried your hand at fishing and after an accidental dunk into the stream, you returned with the other girls to the cabin. Drinking games to end the night; one in which you did not reach your bunk, awaking at the table in shame.

The next day, the rest of the girls wanted a trip to the waterfall. The thought was enticing but your stomach grumbled from your previous day’s excess and you hoped the painkillers would help ease your hangover. You had several more days at the retreat, you could go tomorrow.  You helped clean the dishes from breakfast and bid the girls farewell as they boarded the boat for the opposite shore.

A day alone would be nice. You had never minded solitude. In fact, you had hoped for it. The idea of being trapped in a small cabin with half a dozen others had been intimidating. You had trouble enough with just your boyfriend in your cell-like apartment. You watched them roar across the lake, the engine fading to a distant whir until the noises of birds and critters were the only left. You hung your legs off the dock as you dipped your toes into the water and basked in the ambiance. The soft ripples eased the stone set in your forehead.

You pulled your feet up after a while and went to grab your book from the kitchen table. You changed into your bathing suit and grabbed your sunscreen. The sun was strong today. You opened a can of cider and sat in the low deck chair as you opened the novel and delved into fantasy. A sword shining in the dark; a gloom most sinister on the rise.

The water and summer breeze mixed to lend a calming vibrance to the dock. You eased deeper into the chair and listened to the occasional flick of a fish’s tail as it ventured close to the surface. You sighed and rested your book across your chest as you leaned your head back. It had been what, an hour since they left. You loved how time seemed to slow down here. How you could just be; not think.

Your eyes popped open as you heard a distant rustle in the trees. You shrugged and set aside your book to sip on your cider. You had seen a deer earlier that day, some other critters hung around when they thought no one was looking. Near the outhouse, you had even thought you saw wildcat. Kaya said it was possible but not likely.

Another rustle. The snap of a twig. You drained half your tall boy and peered around your chair up into the trees. Whatever it was, it would scare itself away. You stood and stretched in the sunlight. You went to the edge of the dock and onto the large flat rocks that led to the water. You dipped down into the shallows and squeaked at the chill. Your body attuned to the temperature and you ducked your head under, rising with a gasp. It was nice. Revitalizing. Your headache started to slake away.

You heard the jostle of leaves and again glanced towards the forest. It did sound so much like there were footsteps out there. You tried to laugh at yourself but the shiver that went up your spine kept your self-deprivation at bay. You made your way back to the rocks and climbed up on the dock. You took the towel from the back of your chair and rubbed your hair and body as dry as you could. You let the towel fall across the arm of the chair and slipped on your sandals as you followed what you were certain weren’t footsteps. There was no one else here. You were alone. Of that you were sure. There was no way anyone else could have stumbled upon this little hideaway.

You didn’t bother calling out. You were quite convinced it was only a confused deer. Or an overly zealous rabbit. You walked up past the outhouses and the noise stopped. You exhaled but stared through the trees. You were still curious about what had caused such a ruckus. You saw no sign of flight. The sound had just died. It was almost eerie.

Assure yourself it was nothing and you could return to your book. You sighed at yourself and wandered into the brush. A chipmunk here, a woodpecker above, several other avian calls through the trees. You glanced around at nothing more than leaves and bark. You were definitely psyching yourself out. You finally laughed and turned back.

You cried out in surprise at the figure that waited behind you. Your yelp was smothered as his hand went over your mouth and he saved you from falling out of your sandals. You pushed against the tall man in your terror and confusion. He pressed his palm tighter to your lips and you silenced your murmurs as he shushed. He held you against him, his dark clothing rough against your bare stomach.

“Quiet,” He warned gruffly and carefully removed pressure from his palm.

He watched you as he lowered his hand and you stared up at him with wide eyes. Even if you screamed, it would be muffled by the branches above and none were anywhere close enough to hear. He released you and stepped back. He leaned against a tree and wiped the blood from the corner of his lips. As you got a good look at him, you realized he was injured. A man of poorer stature would not be standing.

He pushed himself straight and growled as he examined the blood on his fingertips. It was dry; flecks scratched from his flesh. His wounds were at least a few hours old. You hoped that meant they had not been dealt near here. He reached out and grabbed your shoulder firmly. Your body went stiff as he guided you past him, back in the direction you had come.

“You have a place around here,” He said. His tone was steely, his fingers left your skin tender as he rescinded his hand. “Show me.”

“How did you get here?” You asked as you wove along the path, past the outhouses and towards the back steps.

“No questions,” He retorted, “Are there others here?”

“No,” You answered, uncertain. “Well, not right now. They’re at the waterfall. Across the lake…they’ll be back soon.”

“Will they?” He sounded doubtful at your last-minute addition. “It’s barely noon. I’m sure they’ll want to enjoy the sun.”

You swallowed and remained silent. He wasn’t going to answer your questions; only discern your lies. He marched you up the steps and you opened the screen door. He caught it behind you and followed you inside. 

“Any weapon?” He nudged you against the counter as he looked around. “I’ll find them and I can promise you, I can wield them better than you.”

“Just a flare gun…” Kaya’s family weren’t the hunting types. The most dangerous possession they had were fishing knives and those were down in the shed. “Just beside the fireplace in the next room.”

He nodded and pushed past you. He opened and closed each drawer. He huffed and neared the round table. A few half-empty cans remained from the night before and the deck of cards in a crooked pile. He pulled out a chair and sat heavily.

His dirty blonde hair hung in sweaty knots around his face, his thick beard a shade darker. His narrow blue eyes shone beneath long lashes as they never stopped searching. He wore a dark blue uniform; some sort of combat suit. A harness stretched across his broad chest and the belt around his waist was lined with several pouches. His boots were worn and covered in grime and what looked to be even more blood. There was more crimson along his shoulders, small cuts along the corner of his lips and top of his forehead. You could guess that he had won the fight, even if he had taken a few blows himself.

“Well, you got a first aid kit or something?” He asked as he planted his elbow on the table. “Something stronger than…” He lifted an empty canned cocktail and eyed the label, “Whatever this is.”

“In there,” You pointed to the cooler by the door. “The kit is just…” You moved slowly, afraid that you might provoke him. When he had grabbed you in the woods, you had felt his strength. Even in his state, he could easily overpower you. “Over here.”

You crossed to the table just inside the living room; the space divided by the change in flooring. He watched as you opened the slatted door beneath and pulled out the metal box. It looked to be right out of the seventies. It must have been as old as the cabin. The man stood as you set the kit on the table and he kicked open the cooler. He bent and grabbed the bottle of gin you hadn’t yet uncorked. He resumed his seat and placed the bottle down beside him.

He dragged the box over to him and undid the metal clasp. He stirred through the contents and pulled out gauze and the small bottle of peroxide. Then he fished around for a spool and a curved needle. They looked like they’d never been used. That was reassuring. He shifted in his chair and pulled off his fingerless gloves. Next he pointedly loosed the buckles of his harness and slipped it past his arms with a pained grunt. He piled each piece on the tabletop between the cans and the open first aid kit.

You began to back away as he tugged at the hem of his shirt and he paused. He looked up at you and shook his head. He kicked another chair towards you, “Sit.” Your throat contracted and you obeyed. Despite the hot air trapped beneath the sun-cooked roof of the cabin, you felt ice in your veins.

You sat and he finished stripping himself of the sweat-stained shirt. His chest and torso were laced with thick muscles, his right shoulder gashed and bloody. You watched his bulging arms as he reached over to grab the gauze and peroxide. You had never scene a man in such peak condition. Not outside the television screen. The power which lay in his form kept you from admiration. It was more intimidation.

You watched as he cleaned his wound. He hissed through gritted teeth as he touched his tender flesh and blood flaked away. He dumped the reddened gauze on the table. He unscrewed the cap of the gin and drank heavily before he reached for the needle. He sterilized the metal in peroxide before he began the agonizing work. You wanted to look away but you didn’t want to seem weaker than you so obviously were. The only sign of his discomfort was the tic in his jaw.

Time dragged by as he wove the stitches. He glanced up at you when he finished, his brow lifted and he tilted his head. He was surprised that you hadn’t looked away. Then you did. You didn’t like the weight of his eyes on you. There was something behind them. The crystal-like irises could not disguise the darkness beneath. This man had been good once but now…something had corrupted him.

You listened as he cleaned the needle and wound up the thread. He packed it up with the unused gauze and closed the box with a click. The gin swished as he lifted the bottle and swigged. You kept your gaze averted until a speck entered the bottom of your vision. You turned to look at the short neck of the bottle. He held it out to you with a staunch look. You bit your cheek and accepted it.

You took a small sip and handed it back. He gulped again and pushed his shoulders back as he looked around. “How many of you are there?” He asked.

“Five,” You answered in a half whisper.

“All girls?” He passed the bottle back. Another small drink; your stomach was sinking and the alcohol wasn’t helping.

“Yes,” You should’ve lied but you suspected he already knew.

“Didn’t know you were still here,” He took the bottle back and drank again. He set it on the table as he turned his chair and leaned forward. His blue eyes held yours. “Was hoping to hang back and sneak in and out. Maybe steal a few pieces of bacon if you hadn’t ate it all.”

“I won’t tell,” You said in a small voice, “You can still go. Take whatever you want.”

“Aren’t you curious about what happened?” He leaned his elbows on his knees as he gauged your expression.

“I think the less I know, the better,” You replied grimly.

His eyebrows shot up and his lips twitched. “Smart,” He sat up and his chest rose and fell as he exhaled. “You should’ve gone with your friends.”

“I should’ve,” You agreed. “You were watching us then?”

“Watching you.” He countered. “You were talking to yourself when you came out to the dump the dishwater.”

You recalled how you had in fact been muttering to yourself as you tipped the large steel basin over the side of the porch. It meant he had been close enough to hear you. He had been lurking in the trees for at least several hours. You nodded. Your voice was trapped in your chest.

“Have a drink.” He took the bottle and held it out to you again. You looked down in defeat and numbly accepted the gin. You raised it to your lips carefully. “A real one.” He pushed up the bottom of the bottle and forced you to gulp back the searing alcohol until you choked. He grabbed the gin and put it back on the table as you grasped at your throat.

When you recovered, you looked up at him. There was a frightening confidence to his gaze. “You can take the gin…there’s more bacon in the fridge and–”

“I don’t want it. Gin doesn’t affect me that much. Not very hungry anymore,” His features set as his pupils dilated. “Well, in a manner of speaking.”

“My friends–”

“Have got five, six hours before they need to start their boat and head back.” He said evenly. “It’s summer, they might have even longer. At least eight hours before dusk. I’d say we’ve got all the time in the world.” His tongue poked out between his lips as a smirk spread across his face. “You and me. All alone.”

You swore your heart stopped. You stood but he was faster. He shoved you back to your chair, his hands on your shoulders as he loomed over you. His nose was only inches from yours. “How far do you think you’ll get?” You blinked. Resignation shadowed your face and you knew he could see it. He could feel it as your shoulders fell. “It’s a vacation, isn’t it?”

He stood straight and his hands ran along the front of his belt. His fingers deftly unbuckled the leather and you looked to the wall. You listened to the metal as it clinked and the zipper of his pants as it descended. Your fingers sank into your thighs without thinking. The brush of fabric, the movement in the corner of your eyes, his breath steady and determined with his movements.

His hand was on your chin as he forced your head straight. You closed your eyes and his fingers squeezed harder. He could break your jaw with a single pinch. “Look at me,” Your eyes opened and you kept them aimed up at his face. He had his cock out, you could see it at the edge of your vision, smell it even. The odor of sweat and something else. Of him; dusky. “Just you girls up here…must be boring.”

Your nostrils flared as your fear melded with anger. Then shame. You thought of your boyfriend waiting for you back home. You had felt bad enough going away without him. Now look at you. It might not be of your own volition but you weren’t fighting it much were you.

“I don’t want to tie you to the chair.” He warned. “But I saw the rope in the drawer and it wouldn’t be hard. So stop that little mind of yours from running astray and open up.”

You did as he said. Your lips parted mechanically as his hand moved to cradle your cheek. His fingers spread and he gripped the side of your head as he pressed his cock to your lips. Slowly he pushed further and you couldn’t look him in the eye. You lowered your gaze so that you stared at the trail of hair along his pelvis. He sank deeper until he poked at your throat and you struggled to take more of him. He was bigger than your boyfriend. Much bigger.

“It’s been about a month since I’ve talked to someone else.” He spoke as he forced himself down your throat and you pushed against his thighs. You were at the edge of your seat as you tried not to gag. “Been running. Fighting.” He pulled back and then back in. He worked himself in and out as he urged you to accept more. “Lonely.”

Your eyes rolled back and your lids finally closed. You slapped at his thighs as he kept his motion steady, slowly building his speed. The room filled with the sound of his cock sliding in an out of your throat. Slobber spread across your lips and up his shaft. Your nails dug into his skin as he held your head between his hands. Your head spun as you were suffocated by the gin and his relentless fucking.

You were just about to fall out of the chair when he pulled out. He held onto your head with one hand as he stroked himself with the other. “Open.” He commanded and you kept your lips as you were as he tilted your chin. Erratic ribbons shot along your tongue and around your mouth. You waited until he finished and at last released you.

“Swallow.” His voice was smoky as he stared down at you. You closed your mouth and urged yourself to do as he said. His cum slid down your ragged throat with a painful gulp. “Strip.”

There was something about his tone, the way he ordered you around, that told you he was used to being in charge. You rose and stiffly untied the neck of your bathing suit top. The cups fell forward and you undid the back as well. You tossed away the bra and braced yourself as your fingers slid under the waist of your bottom. You bent and drew them down in one swoop. You stood straight as you stepped out of it.

“Turn around,” He twirled his finger in the air. His cock hung out of his pants without shame and you turned to hide your stray eyes. He looked even bigger than he felt. “On the chair. On your knees.” You approached the wooden chair and got up on your knees. He growled in approval as he came up behind you. “Do you swallow your boyfriend’s cum?”

“How–” You stopped yourself and bit your cheek instead.

“I heard you mention him to your friend. Something about him working too much. Wasn’t really listening.” His hands came up on either side of your head and brushed through your hair. He dragged his nails over your scalp and you resisted a shiver. “So, do you?”

You shook your head. You couldn’t have spoken if you tried. He gave a soft chuckle as his hands settled on your shoulders and kneaded them. His fingers then danced down your shoulder blades and along the curves of your body. He cupped your ass in his large hands; his palms calloused and rough. He pulled the cheeks apart and pushed them back together.

“Should I feel special then?” He teased. You sucked in your lip as he slipped one hand below your ass. He felt around and you closed your eyes as you felt your wetness at the same time he did. “Maybe less work and more play for you.”

“Shut up,” You whispered, “Just shut up.”

He slapped your ass so hard you fell against the back of the chair. “Too bad he’s not here to see how it’s done.” He continued. “Hmm? He could probably use some pointers if your quivering like this.”

You wrapped your fingers around the back of the chair. You clung to the top bar as you clamped your lips together. He felt around with his fingers until he found your entrance. He pushed inside with two fingers and you bit down. He added a third and you squirmed. He roughly worked in and out of you as he slid his cock down between your cheeks.

He pulled his fingers out and pressed on your lower back, your juices spreading across your skin. You arched your back as he lined his cock up with your entrance and you exhaled slowly. As he pushed inside you couldn’t help the whimper. The signal of your surrender as you hung your head. With every inch, you leaned forward, aiding his delve inside. When he bottomed out, he sighed. He slapped your ass with both hands and bucked his hips, poking your cervix sharply.

At first, his thrusts were slow, as if to allow your body to adjust. Your walls strained against him, aching as he stretched you to your limit. You grunted as you tried to withhold your moans. His hand slid up your back and his fingers wrapped around your shoulder as he curved your back further. He slipped out of you so that only his head remained and paused.

He slammed into you and you cried out as you slumped against the back of the chair entirely. Your breath picked up as his thrusts turned sharp; rough. He was done playing nice. The chair creaked and wobbled beneath you as he threatened to fuck it to splinters. You held on as you feared its collapse. His other hand was on your hip as he rutted into you like an animal. The grunts and snarls which rose from him assured you of nothing else. This was a man unhinged. A man who had left his humanity far behind.

Your walls clung to him, pulsed around him as you felt the bloom. The sudden surge and your head flung back. His fingertips dug into your shoulder as his pelvis clapped against your ass. You whined as your orgasm flowed through you and shattered the last of your strength. You spasmed against him. You dropped your head down and leaned it against the back of the chair as you chased the breath that had whisked from your lungs. You could barely keep yourself from crumpling to the floor.

The chair almost tipped as he pulled out of you suddenly. He drew you off your knees and turned you to face him. He swiped the empty cans, the bottle of gin, and the first aid kit from the table with his arm. He grabbed you and lifted you so easily your head spun. You landed on your back atop the wood and he was quick to move between your legs. His hands went to your thighs as he pushed your legs up as far as they would go. He entered without delay, even deeper than before.

His blue eyes glided up your body and watched the twitch of your cheek as you tried to restrain the pleasure soaring through you. His gaze retreated as he smirked and he pressed his thumb to your clit. You moaned and reached to latch onto the edge of the table as he resumed his former rhythm. There was no patience left in him. He pounded into you so that the table shook and your body added to its tremble.

You swore as another orgasm tore through you. Your legs were flush to his torso as he grabbed onto your thighs and held you close. He rocked his hips into you in violent thrusts. Your ass was almost off the table as he bit his lips and threw his head back. His strokes turned spastic and he slowed as he came. His heat seeped through you as he buried himself as deep as he could.

You shuddered as he let your legs fall around him and your chest beat a melody. You lay prone across the table and he removed himself after a moment. He huffed and fell back into the chair. He was still hard but fatigue lined his eyes and hung from his broad shoulders. You raised your head as you sensed his gaze. He watched as his cum leaked from between your legs and you pushed your thighs together as you sat up.

“Come on,” He patted his thigh and held the base of his cock with his other hand, “Might as well have some fun while your friends have their own, huh?”


	2. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader returns from her vacation but can’t shake what happened.
> 
> Warnings: noncon sex (oral and intercourse), cuckolding, angst. This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck me! Another sequel to a one shot. Whatever. Here’s some filth inspired by our favourite nomad. Someone stop me please.
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy some straight up brutal Steve and let me know what you think as always. Love ya <3

It wasn’t until the man left that you recognized him. You were certain it was merely shock. You had to be mistaken. The former golden avenger. The disgraced patriot. Not of your nation but known to the world wide. The beard was a poor disguise when you looked closely. His hair long enough to deceive for a moment but not an eternity. If one stared at him long enough, they would know him without a doubt. He had been with you for hours; until you were senseless and numb; almost convinced you had imagined the encounter.

When Steve Rogers left you, the mess he left assured you of his presence. That you hadn’t dreamt it. The broken gin bottle, bandages spilled across the floor, empty cans littered the room. The ache between your thighs that spread to the rest of your body with each move as you cleaned up the remnants of his assault. You pushed the chairs in and replaced the small metal box beneath the table.

You stepped out into the wild and stared into the trees. He was gone. You hoped. You made the descent back to the dock. You were still naked. You dove into the water without a thought. The chill washed over you but could not cleanse you of his touch. So rough; so unforgiving. He had used your body as if it were nothing. You _were_  nothing. And you had betrayed yourself. The fizzle of nerves; the rush of adrenaline. How weak you had been.

You thought of the hour you had spent in the cold water. The girls had returned just as you wrapped yourself in a towel and watched the small metal boat roar up to the dock. They greeted you as if nothing had happened. For them, nothing had. You stared now into the depths as they rippled around the same vessel; your bags and the other passengers crowded around you. You thought of jumping in to escape the face you couldn’t forget. The fingertips as they dug into your skin. You shivered and looked up to the mainland not far ahead. 

You were exhausted. The pitch black nights in the wilderness had you listening for every night bird, every snap of twigs, every breeze through the leaves. You would be glad to return to the city; the street lights, the noise, the traffic. Leave this place behind and never think of it again. Never speak a word of it. It would be like it had never happened.  _Almost._

It took twenty minutes to unload the boat. Two cars for the five girls. You and your sister in one, Camile, Milani, and Corette in the other. Almost a full day of driving ahead of you. Of thinking. Gia slipped a CD in the stereo and you mentally thanked her. It would keep you from silence. Keep you from bursting at the seams, not that you thought you could ever put into words what had happened.

_What had happened?_

You were still asking yourself the same question. You drove for the first half. The tedium of highway traffic kept you distracted. When it was your turn as passenger you stared out the window and lost yourself in the trees, the fields, the urban sprawl in between. Gia chatted here and there and you gave her the same distant responses that had filled your last several days at the cabin. It was habit really. There were no words which could truly express how you had changed. Nothing but the shell of your old self repeating its former dialogue.

When you entered the city, it was dark. Gia dropped you off in front of your building and you waved goodbye as she left. A spark of happiness immediately extinguished. You thought of your boyfriend, Ethan, and you cringed. You had looked forward to the reunion; the rush of your time apart but now it felt like a sombre retreat from battle. You stood before your building with bile in your throat.  _Would he know? Would he sense another man on you?_

You were as guilty as Steve was. You had been complacent. You had even enjoyed it. You were everything you had never wanted to be. You were a cheater. Scum. You should have resisted more. Fought harder. Should have bit back your fear and spat in his face. But you hadn’t. You let yourself be ravaged; demeaned. Betrayed the man you loved.

You didn’t take the elevator. You dragged your suitcase and tote up the stairs. You shoved your key in the door but it opened before you could unlock it. Ethan stood there; smiling. You almost winced as he pulled you to him and kissed you.

When he parted, he said, “Hey babe, missed ya,” And you clung to him in an effort to hide your face. You echoed his sentiment as best you could.“You tired?” He asked as he wriggled free from your embrace. He took your tote and reached past you to lift your suitcase over the threshold of your apartment.

“Long drive,” You grumbled as you followed him inside and closed the door. 

“Good trip, I hope?” He pushed your suitcase against the wall and placed your tote on top.

“Yeah,” The word was all you could muster as you looked around your apartment. It was so unfamiliar. As if it had been years since you had been there. You tucked your hands in your shorts pockets and kicked your sandals off. “Is it--I think I’m going to take a bath.”

“Oh,” He looked almost disappointed as he neared. His arms went around your waist as he pulled you close once more. “Whatever you need, babe.” He bent to kiss your forehead and his voice turned dusky, “I’ll be waiting.” 

-

The first day back to work after a vacation was always sluggish. Most of your day was spent on the phone. Ironically, planning the same vacations you rarely got. Clients chose their packages, their add-ons, the date. You entered all this in your computer and put on your best customer service voice. It was harder today to keep the act up. To sell these getaways when your own had been so unnerving.

When the end of the day came, you were in no rush. You dreaded going home. It would be a few hours before Ethan got home but still, you just didn’t know how to function yet. He had fucked you last night. You had let him. Out of remorse; pity; maybe even the need to feel something but this endless confusion. 

You should have told him, but would he believe you? The fugitive, the former avenger, Steve Rogers, had stumbled upon you in the hinterlands and assaulted you. Sure. Even if you could find your courage, it was a ridiculous plight. You sighed and grabbed your purse. You punched out and headed down to the streets to lose yourself in the city crowds.

The days passed in kind. Through a haze, as if you were looking at the world through a scratched lens. You went to work, recited the packages to prospective clients, typed away as the screen glared back at you, punched out, numbed yourself against Ethan’s touch, and went to sleep. Tried to, at least. Most nights you laid awake next to the snores of your boyfriend. When you closed your eyes, you saw the bearded man staring back at you. Felt his hands on your body. He lingered inside of you.

Work went by in a blur again. Nine days since your return. Two weeks since the intrusion. You were ready to go home for another night of monotony. Pretending you were okay. Wishing you were. As you walked out onto the street, you adjusted your purse on your shoulder. You followed the sidewalk towards your bus stop but nearly stumbled over your own feet. You gaped at the man not six feet from you; long blond hair, broad shoulders, decisive gait. You would know him anywhere. He was all you could think of as you prayed to forget him. 

You looked around at the other people passing by. When you glanced back, he was gone. Only those waiting at the stop remained. Your heart was hammering as you spun and searched him out.  _Where could he have gone? Had you imagined him? Had you finally cracked?_

You shuddered and continued to the stop. You dug your heel into the grass and looked over your shoulder. It had to be in your head.  _How on earth could he have found you? Why would he even bother to follow you? Just let it go. Move on. It happened. There’s no going back._ The mantras never worked; only made it worse. The powerlessness; the fear. 

As those around you turned to watch the bus approach, you lined up with them and dug out your bus pass. You waited your turn and scanned it as you stepped up onto the behemoth. You found a seat near the middle and looked out the window as you waited for commuters to finish boarding. 

You grasped your purse tightly as the blonde head appeared again. A split second before he disappeared behind a truck. You hadn’t seen his face. It couldn’t be him. You were paranoid;  _obsessed!_  There were millions of blond men in this world; as many of the same height; surely thousands in this city alone. 

You slumped down in your seat and stared at the seat in front of you with a sigh. You rubbed your eyes and yawned. Sleep. That would help. If you didn’t forget, at least you wouldn’t be awake.

-

Every time you looked at Ethan, you felt rotten. He had been so sweet these last few weeks. Even if neither of you had acknowledged it, he knew something was wrong. You were distant; quiet. When he touched you, you couldn’t help but flinch. When he looked at you, you shied away. All affection, all intimacy was stunted. Yet he still tried. But you couldn’t. 

You couldn’t find it within yourself to pretend anymore. It was the end and yet you couldn’t accept it. Wouldn’t accept it. It wasn’t supposed to end this way. You and Ethan had a once in a lifetime love. One so accepting, so natural, that it couldn’t just die like this. But it had. The death was slow and agonizing but you could feel it in your veins. You weren’t the same person you had been three years ago; three weeks ago. You would never be again.

Another restless night. You watched Ethan as he snored beside you. His nocturnal snorts floated through the room. You sighed and fell onto your back. The window was streaked with shades of blue and grey; the street lights softened the midnight black. The occasional car passed by and filled the void between his snores. You stared at the ceiling and touched your forehead. You just wanted to sleep. You felt like you were suffocating; the walls slowly getting closer as you sank into the mattress. This feeling came often and it would pass; but not for long. 

Then you heard it. Was it in your head? Another paranoid delusion? Those had too grown common. It was akin to sleep paralysis. Your exhaustion would dangle you between lucidity and your greatest fears. A dark figure would loom over you as you fought for a moment’s peace. You would wake with a pounding heart and ringing ears. These hallucinations had not been so frightening when they were fantastical demons. When your fears had been less real.

It couldn’t be in your head. The familiar click of the balcony door. The subtle rattle as it was eased shut. You reached over and grabbed Ethan’s arm. You could move; you weren’t dreaming. You sat up and shook him. He grumbled and tried to bat you away. You hissed and shoved his shoulder.

“Ethan,” You breathed as you tugged on him desperately. “Ethan, there’s someone in the apartment.”

“Huh?” He snorted, his eyes barely opened through his grogginess. “No, no, it’s nothing. Go back to sleep.” He tried to roll over but you clung to him. 

“No, I swear…” You listened. Silence.  _Had you really heard it?_  “Please, just check...for me.”

He huffed and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles as he yawned. He slowly brushed your hand away from his shoulder as he sat up. “Fine,” He pushed back the blanket but paused before turning his legs over the bed. “Are you...okay?”

“...I don’t know,” You whispered, “I’m sorry, I just...can’t sleep.”

He nodded and stood. He came around to your side and bent to kiss your forehead. “I promise, it’s nothing.” 

He squeezed your shoulder and you frowned. He was patronizing you. He thought you were as crazy as you felt. You watched as he turned away, his slender torso bare above his pajama pants, and he lumbered into the next room. You listened for a time. His footfalls assured you of his safety. You didn’t hear much else but your heart raced. There was something wrong. You just knew it. 

Finally, the silence was broken by his voice. “It’s nothing, I told you,” He called from the other room, “Come on and see for yourself.”

You scowled. He was taunting you now. Making fun of you. You couldn’t blame him. You had woken him from a perfectly peaceful sleep for your stupid fears. You pushed yourself from the mattress and dragged your feet across the cool hardwood. You entered the short hallway that led to the living room and found Ethan sitting on the ottoman. The lamp was on and limned his lithe figure from just beside the couch. He gulped and you saw the tremor in his hand. A figure appeared behind him and you felt as if you would faint. Your head spun and your hands fluttered to your chest.  _This couldn’t be real._

“Hello again,” Steve Rogers stopped just behind Ethan. You glanced at your boyfriend who looked as terrified as you. His hair was a mess and he looked to have struggled futilely with the intruder. He was skinny compared to the super soldier; a poor adversary. You chewed your lip and looked between the two men. “This must be the boyfriend.”

You lips parted but your voice was trapped in your chest. You nodded and Steve chuckled. He reached over and took a roll of thick black tape from the small table beside the couch. The same one on which the glowing lamp sat. You swayed on your feet as you clasped your hands together over your chest. A small sob bubbled from your throat.

“You should sit before you pass out,” Steve advised with a smirk. You met Ethan’s eyes and he gave a subtle nod. A swift smack to the head made him grunt. “I’m in charge here, not him.” You looked back to Steve as he sneered at the man sitting before him. “Understood?”

You nodded again and felt around for the armchair just inches away. You stepped around and sat stiffly on the cushion. Steve spun the roll of tape on his finger and watched it with amusement. His other hand squeezed Ethan’s shoulder, “Now, you two stay as you are for just a moment.” 

He stepped around the ottoman and you shied away as he neared you. He reached out to drag his fingers down your arm as he passed. You drew away from him and clung to the arm of the chair. He grinned at your reaction and carried on. He disappeared into the next room and returned with a dining chair. He planted it in the middle of the room and pointed to Ethan. “Right here, boy.”

Ethan bristled at the order but rose with grit in his jaw. He crossed to the chair with cold eyes and sat with a long exhale. Your lip trembled as Steve once more raised the roll of tape and the blunt tear filled the room. He wrapped the first strip around Ethan’s wrist and the chair arm. He repeated the action and you found yourself digging your nails into the hem of your long tee. 

“Why are you doing this?” You quavered.

Steve didn’t answer you. He merely kept on in his work until Ethan was bound hand and foot. He wouldn’t look at you.  _How could he?_  You had led this man back here and you could only imagine what Ethan thought. He had to know that this wasn’t random. It wasn’t hard to guess at your betrayal with the man stood before him.

“Did she tell you about her vacation?” Steve fiddled with the tape as he backed away. He neared you and his hand settled on your shoulder. “Did she tell you what she did?” You bit down as his fingers edged closer to the neckline of your night shirt. “What we did…”

“Don’t touch me,” You shoved his hand away and tried to stand. He shoved you back down easily, his grip iron on your shoulder. You looked to Ethan who had finally turned to you and you shook your head. It hadn’t been your choice. 

“She didn’t resist much. I’d say she was dreaming of it,” Steve continued on as he came up behind the chair. His hand stretched around your throat as he leaned over it. “Couldn’t blame her after seeing you.”

Your eyes stung as the tears rose. Ethan’s face was a storm of fury and pain. He finally looked away as Steve’s hand squeezed your throat. Another sardonic laugh. Steve released you and rounded the chair. He neared Ethan again and looked down at him. 

“Fuck you.” Ethan spat, his body tensed with anger as he pulled against the tape. “You’re disgusting.”

You yelped as Ethan’s head snapped back. Steve’s had struck him so hard, the chair teetered beneath him. You stood and Steve held up his hand to stop you. “Don’t.” He warned. You lowered yourself back to the cushion. “Good girl. I don’t wanna kill the boy, so let’s not push it.”

Ethan’s bottom lip was split and his eyes were unfocused as he tried to hold his head up. He coughed and spat out a tooth. The tears streamed down your cheeks. Steve came around the back of the chair and leaned it back on two legs. He started to drag it across the floor, his eyes on you. 

“Stay,” He ordered, “I’ll be back for you shortly.”

You watched as he passed into the hall; the chair scraping across the floor as he disappeared through the doorway. You tried to stand but fell back into the chair. You were shaking so much you felt as if you were vibrating.  _How had he found you?_  He couldn’t have followed you. And yet here he was. Living out your nightmare.

You heard him move around in the bedroom. You stared at the balcony door. You only lived on the second floor. There was a tree just beside your balcony; tall enough for one to climb. Likely he didn’t even need that. He was a former Avenger, a trained soldier, and genetically modified superhuman. You had no hope against him. If he wanted you, he would have you.

You looked up as footsteps sounded down the hall. All patience left his person as Steve crossed to you and grabbed your arm. He pulled you from the chair and you stumbled as he directed you back the way he came. You were in shock. The feeling drained from your being as you were forced through the doorway and then returned to you all at once. Your skin was on fire as you looked around the bedroom. 

Ethan was at the end of the bed, the standing lamp beside him lit the room in an eerie glow. All but the mattress sheet had been stripped from the bed. Steve shoved you ahead of him so that you collided with the side of the mattress. You caught yourself and tried to push yourself up but forced you back down. You whimpered and heard Ethan’s heavy breathing. You could sense his fury. His humiliation.

Steve’s nails scratched your skin as he hooked them beneath the collar of your night shirt and tore it down the back. You were jolted and he let the cotton fall down your arms. You were left naked; vulnerable. He slapped your ass and you untangled yourself from the fabric as you crawled away from him. He caught your ankle and dragged you back as you clawed at the sheet.

His other hand pressed on your lower back until you fell to your stomach. He bent over you as he tugged the ripped nightshirt from beneath you. “Keep it up and I’ll finish breaking his jaw.” He snarled. You closed your eyes and let your head fall against the mattress as the strength left your body.

After a moment, you felt his hands again as he slipped the twisted cotton beneath your neck. He knotted it at the back and you sucked in your lip as a sob threatened to rise. When he finished, he pulled on the makeshift leash and you were forced to raise your head. 

“Good girl,” He said as he jerked the leash again. “Come on.” You were forced up onto your knees to keep from choking. He had you on your hands and knees as he walked you around the bed with a chuckle. “Sit,” He ordered as if you were a dog and you sat back on your heels with a muted sigh. He lowered his end of the leash to the bed and held up a finger. “Stay.”

You looked down at your shaking hands. You heard fabric as it brushed over skin and hair, the buckle of a belt as it fell open. Footsteps as they rounded the bed and Ethan’s weak grunt. 

“I want you to enjoy the show, boy,” You looked over as Steve rasped in Ethan’s ear, “Keep your eyes on her.” He stood straight and slapped the back of Ethan’s head. “Don’t make me tell you twice.”

You tore your eyes away before Ethan could meet them. You held your breath as Steve continued to undress, his clothes piled messily on the floor. The leash went taut again as he grabbed it and pulled you forward. You exhaled as you were forced to look at him; his cock was hard as he urged you closer. He held the base with his free hand as he angled your head towards it. You fell forward and braced the edge of the mattress as his cock met your lips.

“Ah,” Steve stopped you just as you parted your lips. “You can watch me fuck her, boy, or you can watch her bleed. Up to you.” Ethan growled but you felt the heat of his gaze. The stolid tension that permeated the air.

Steve pushed himself against your lips and you stretched your mouth over his length. He did not ease in, rather forced his cock down your throat until your entire body convulsed. He held you there as you struggled to hold down the retch. You kicked your feet and he wiggled his hips as your nose met his pelvis. You dug your nails into the mattress as your head began to pulse dangerously. Black spots speckled your vision and Steve finally pulled out, his tip against your lips as you gasped and coughed.

“I’m gonna train your girl well,” Steve purred as he tugged the leash and pushed his cock past your lips once more. 

Your hand slipped from the edge of the mattress and you grabbed onto his thigh to keep yourself from falling. Again he bottomed out and you gagged. He pulled back and slammed back in. He continued his motion. His pace sharp and punctuated by your groans and gulps. Your saliva spread along his shaft as he worked in and out. You struggled to take all of him as your jaw ached and your throat burned.

“You gonna swallow for me again?” His voice was smoky as his hand gripped the back of your head. His hold on the leash tightened and your other hand went to his thigh as you fought for your balance. “Be a good girl and swallow.”

He sank to the back of your throat, one more long stroke before he spilled with a growl. His hot cum spilled down your throat and you clung to him as you willed yourself to swallow. Your body wouldn’t co-operate as your breath was blocked by his girth. You finally gulped back and the thick cum slid down as the salty flavour seeped onto your tongue. 

Steve pulled out roughly. Your spit and the last of his cum dripped from your lips. You shuddered as your breath came ragged and leaned back on your heels as the leash strained against your neck. “Turn around,” He guided you around with the twisted cotton and you were on hands and knees before him. 

He slid his hands along your ass before he struck it with an open palm. You winced and your arms threatened to collapse beneath you. He dragged his fingers between your cheeks and pushed them between your legs. He felt around and you cringed as he dipped between your folds. You were soaked.

“Ah ah ah,” Steve turned his hand and flicked your clit. You arched your back and he continued to explore. “She’s fucking wet.” He pushed his fingers along your entrance and you bit your lip. He slipped them inside and you felt the heat trickle up your spine. Your pussy squelched noisily as he pulled in and out  He laughed as you shivered. “You hear that. She’s desperate for me.”

You whined and hung your head. Steve yanked on the leash and you were forced to look up. “Don’t try to act shy now, girl…” He bent over you as he continued to finger you. He whispered your name in your ear and your eyes rounded. You turned to look over your shoulder at him and he delighted in your shock. 

He stood straight and slapped your ass again as he fucked you with his hand. He pressed his thumb to your clit as he did and your thighs clenched around him. It was too much. Your breath rushed from you, moans escaped your lips and turned to pathetic mewls. You shouldn’t enjoy this. The air caught in your throat as the tide swept over you sharply. A raspy gasp as you pushed yourself against Steve’s hand and came. Your entire body spasmed and he didn’t slow until your muscles released. 

He removed his fingers and you looked back as he held them up. He stared down Ethan as he licked your cum from his hand. You glanced over for the first time and your heart shattered. He was crying. Silently. The tears streaked along his nose as his shining eyes fell to you. He blinked as if to quell them but it only spurred the flow.

Again, the leash jerked around your neck and Steve’s hand on your hip guided you. He turned you to face Ethan as he climbed up on the bed. You shook your head at Ethan and mouthed the single word; the one which could never be enough. “Sorry.” He sniffed and winced as he squared his jaw. The tears stopped.

Steve grabbed your wrists and bent your arms so that they were behind your back. You fell onto your face, relieved to look away from Ethan. There was no way past this. This would break you both. Steve tied the other end of the night shirt around your wrists and the angle of your arms strained your muscles.

Steve lifted your ass higher as he pushed his cock between your legs. He rubbed his tip along your folds as you held your breath. A ripple threatened to shake your body. He pushed inside suddenly and you grunted into the sheet. You felt a tug on the night shirt as he sank into you. Your head was held up as he lifted you by the agonizing restraint. 

Your eyes met Ethan’s again as your head was forced straight. The cotton choked you as Steve plunged into you without relent. One hand held firm the nightshirt while the other latched onto your hip. His pelvis clapped against your ass and you wheezed noisily. His grunts were deep, animalistic, as he bottomed out with each thrust. Your body jolted at his will, your back curved painfully.

“You see, this is what she needs.” He growled. “To be owned. You have to claim what is yours or another will.” You gurgled as your thighs tingled. You were going to cum again. Your fight against the whirl of nerves only made the orgasm more intense. You shuddered as your walls twitched around his cock. “You see that? She’s cumming. Oh, another?” 

He slammed into you harder and pulled on the nightshirt so that you were right against him. You croaked as you climaxed again. You had never cum so violently. So quickly. The waves only rose harder and harder. Your eyes rolled back as the tension left the cotton and his fingers spread over the fabric along your neck. He held you to him, your arms trapped between your sweaty bodies. 

“Beg for it.” He whispered in your ear. His voice dampened by the sounds of fucking. “Let him hear you beg for my cum.” You shook your head and his hand went to your chin as he held your head straight. “Do it.” He hissed.

He bent his head to drag his teeth along your shoulder. You whined as he bit down and your voice broke through in fiery rasp. “Please,” Your throat was acidic. “I want your cum. Please, cum.”

He sucked painfully on your flesh and his thrust into you as deep as he could go. He rocked against you and removed his mouth from your shoulder. He leaned back as he hammered into you and you felt his hot cum coat your walls. He slowed and let you fall forward. He pulled out oand you slumped against the mattress.

“You see, you have to make her clean up after herself,” Steve’s voice surprised you as he came up beside you. He stood just between the end of the bed and Ethan. He grabbed the cotton just behind your neck and dragged you to the edge of the mattress. He turned you on to your side as he bent to press his cock to your lips. “Look at the mess you made.”

You opened your mouth to him. Too weak to resist as he buried himself in your throat once more. You pushed your tongue against his cock and he groaned in delight. He slowly thrust himself in and out, the taste of both your cum lingered as he removed himself entirely. He released you so that your head hung over the end of the bed and he stood straight.

“The thing is, you gotta be able to keep her busy.” Steve’s weight shift the bed. He untied the cotton from your wrists and rolled you onto your back. “But for an average guy like you, that’s a hard task.” He pushed your legs apart as he pulled you closer. He knelt between your thighs and reached for your pussy. He toyed with your clit roughly and you gasped. “You see, she’s still not there. She still wants more.” 

He lifted your legs against his thighs as he moved closer. He lined himself up with your entrance and pushed inside. There was no resistance left. Your body welcomed him and your mind was too scrambled to try. He continued to play with your clit as he fucked you. This time he was slow; methodical. The circles around your bud had your walls clenching around him.

“You’ve got what? One, maybe two, laps in you. Nah, this is a marathon,” Steve’s fingers worked frantically as he kept his motion steady. “It’s not all in the rhythm, but the touch.” Your fingers dug into the sheet and you whined as another orgasm ripped through you. “Aw, look at her go. She just can’t stop.”

He removed his hand and wrapped your legs around him. He lifted your ass as he quickened his pace. “You gotta build up to it,” His hands were on your hips and he slowly rose with you still around his cock. “Gotta keep her guessing.” 

As he lifted your body from the bed. Your reached out to support yourself as he held you up. He fucked you as his cock sank even deeper. He used your body as if you weighed nothing. He didn’t waver as the blood rushed to your head and you bent your legs around him. He sped up with each thrust and you panted frantically as another peak rose before you. Your arms went limp as you came. You hung upside down as you writhed in delight.

“We’re not even close to the finish line,” Steve lowered you beneath him. “This is just the warm up.”

His hand went to your wrists as he pinned them to the bed and slammed his pelvis into yours. Each thrust had him pulling all the way out and crashing back into you with all his strength. The noises rising from you were inhuman. They tumbled out without a thought. 

He plunged into you sharply and his voice caught in his throat. He breathed heavily through his orgasm as you were filled once more with his cum. He released your wrists and held himself up on his elbows. He smirked as he looked up at Ethan. He rocked his pelvis decisively; in, out, in, out. He sat up and kept his motion steady. He reached for the end of the leash and tugged. 

He puled so that you sat up and you slung your arms over his shoulders. He wound the leash around his hand and held it taut around your neck. His other was on your ass as he guided you up and down his length. His cum leaked out around his cock and spread along your thighs. Your head lolled as you bounced against him, your head swimming as the cotton tightened.

Steve growled as his blue eyes burned across the room. He stared down the man behind you with a devilish grin. He rutted against you and bared his teeth. His twisted the cotton again and your breath was entirely cut off as his grazed along your cheek. 

He sneered as the chair scraped on the floor. His dark laughter rose as your vision turned wavy. “What’s the matter, boy?” Steve gloated as a whine erupted from deep within you. “You want a closer look?”


	3. Non Grata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader finds herself lost after Steve’s second visit.
> 
> Warnings: noncon sex (oral and intercourse), angst. This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you like to hate Steve Rogers? Does him being an absolute dick make you hard? Well this is the series for you! Here’s another of a brutal nomad Steve and a desperate reader who just wants him the fuck the fuck off!
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think as always. Love ya <3

Steve left just as he had the first time. You were broken on the bed; your legs bent over the edge, an ache through your entire body, the remnants of his assault dripping down your thighs. The sweat cooled along your skin as you sank into an exhausted stupor. The shadows of the room loomed around you and a sharp hiss cut through the air. Your heart beat was distant, low. It filled your head like a drum. Your ears burned as the hiss grew to a snarl and your name roused you from your haze.

* * *

 

You turned your head to look at Ethan. He was as he had been for the last hours; bound to the chair to witness your debasement. You cringed and pushed yourself up on shaky arms. “Goddamnit, would you untie me?” He barked. The tone of his voice hurt more than your body. The bruises left by unyielding fingers and the welts around your neck from the twisted cotton.

You stood and crossed to the chair. Your fingers were unsteady as you worked at the tape. You tore it away from his ankles and wrists. You gulped as you gathered your voice. “Ethan…”

“Don’t,” He stood and brushed by you. “I...gotta get ready for work.” He didn’t look at the bed. Or you. He went to the closet and slid the door open. He pulled out a pair of grey pants and a navy button-up. “You should clean yourself up.” His tone made your heart clench. He was so unkind; angry even.  _At you?_  For what had been done  _to you_.

“Please--”

“I don’t wanna talk.” He kept his back to you as he neared the door. “About it. About anything.”

You felt as if you had been punched. You clutched your sweaty hair as your eyes burned. You stared at the door until your stomach bubbled with bile. You dropped your arms and held back a sob. You dragged your feet to the bathroom door and braced yourself against the frame with one hand. You could feel Steve still; inside of you, outside. Your body was covered in his scent. His cum sticky along your thighs.

You closed the door as you stepped inside. You cranked the shower and waited for the steam to rise before you slipped past the curtain. The water was not hot enough to cleanse you. You could hear Ethan in the living room. Your tears melded with the water as you reached out to hold yourself steady against the tile. You listened to his soft footsteps until at last the door opened and closed. He was gone.

You scrubbed every inch of flesh. Every nook and cranny until you were on fire. Your muscles strained as you turned off the water and wrapped yourself in the soft terry towel. Your legs felt weak beneath you. You stripped the bed of the sheet; streaks of cum across the grey cotton. You bunched them up and shoved it in a garbage bag. 

You dressed stiffly. Ritualistically. You didn’t eat, didn’t even brew a coffee. You grabbed the bag and tossed it in the dumpster on your way to work. At least that would be the same. The same old desk; the same phone; the same monotone co-workers. 

-

When you got home, the apartment was eerily silent. It would be an hour before Ethan returned. You weren’t sure if he would. That thought made you want to vomit. You paced around the living room until the lock clicked and you stopped in your tracks as Ethan entered. His shoulders were stiff, his jaw set, his eyes grim. He looked at you for a split second but quickly glanced away.  _Was it shame? Disgust? Hatred?_

He placed his bag beside the door as he always did. He sighed as he crossed the threshold between entrance and living room. His hand settled on the arm of the couch, fingers tapped in rhythm with unspoken thoughts. His eyes had turned to stone. At last he found the strength to look at you. You clasped your hands together as your nerves flurried. The tension was suffocating.

“Do you want the apartment?” He asked finally. You blinked and your cheek twitched. “Because I can’t stay in this place.”

“Wha--I…” You were breathless. You felt as if you were floating and feared you’d come crashing down. “Ethan, you--”

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t stay here, with you, after that,” He shook his head and looked away once more. He crossed his arms and leaned against the couch.

“You’re just going to leave me?” You voice cracked with the last syllable. He stayed silent and hung his head. “What do think that was, Ethan? Do you think I wanted that?”

“I think it looked like you enjoyed yourself, regardless of what you wanted,” He glared at you as he lifted his head. “Why didn’t you tell me before? About the cabin?”

“Would you believe me? Oh, you’d never guess, I was just up in the middle of nowhere and Captain America came out of the wildlands to ravage me. Very believable.”

“I--To think you let me touch you after he did,” Ethan spat as he stood straight.

You inhaled and stared him down. The silence wrapped around your throat. “I don’t want the apartment.” You muttered, “I only ever wanted you, but I would never force my presence on you.” A sickening heat crept up your spine. “I’ll stay with Gia until I find a place. I’ll have my stuff out by the end of the month.”

Ethan’s shoulders dropped. “Is that it? You’re not going to fight?”

“What’s the point? You’ve made up your mind and I’ve already lost everything.” You lowered your lashes before the tears could spill. “I never wanted to say goodbye but I never imagined it would be like this.”

You bit your lip in the lull that followed. Ethan cleared his throat and you heard his footfalls across the hardwood. “I’ll give notice to the landlord.” You glanced over at his shoes as he stood by the bedroom door. “You can take whatever you want.”

He disappeared through the door and your throat constricted. You shook as you turned and looked to the balcony door. It was still unlocked from the night before. You neared and slowly pulled it open. On the other side, your bikini top hung from the knob. You didn’t recall him taking it but you also couldn’t remember finding it in your luggage. Another detail lost to the oblivion of your mind.

You untangled the strap from the handle and felt an unusual shape against the pad. You felt along the cup and slipped your fingers through the small slit sewn in to remove the padding. You gripped the thin plastic and removed it with a fumble. You held up the card you hadn’t noticed was missing. The one you had cracked several years ago and was often forgotten in the back of your wallet. Your name and social security number faded across the plastic.

You turned it over and it fell from your grip with a gasp. Just below the black strip were letters written in slanted sharpie. You knelt to read it again; certain you were imagining it. But staring back at you was the very clear message; a promise.  _I’ll find you._

-

Gia’s apartment was almost too small for the both of you. She helped you inflate the air mattress with the manual pump in the living room as she tried to disguise her curiosity with none-so-subtle questions. You hadn’t told her much. You and Ethan had chosen to go your separate ways. The relationship had lost its lustre. The usual cliched bullshit recited to conceal your heartbreak. Even so, you could tell she wanted to know more. She was ever the sucker for gossip; even if it was another’s pain.

She put on beauty tutorials and ordered take out. You ate as you pretended to listen to the brow shaping tips. You didn’t taste the fried rice or the sweet and sour chicken. When at last she retreated to her room, you laid across the mattress and sank into the darkness. You couldn’t sleep as your heart began to hammer.  _What if he found you here? What would he do to Gia?_  You were so stupid.  _Why had you come here?_

When the sun rose, you were already awake. You had moved to the couch and jumped at every noise. Gia was on afternoons that day so she wouldn’t be up for some time. You made a coffee, drank it in the early morning din, and forced down a bowl of instant oats. You dressed, grabbed your purse, and set out for the bus stop. You’d be on a different route now that you were with Gia.

It was like any other day at work. You were almost late as the bus took a little longer and you rushed in without time for your usual ten minute pre-work laze. You opened up your emails and began to file through those until the first call of the day came in. You typed blindly and went through the usual spiel. Knocking off the checkboxes as you scrolled. The mind-numbing work was a relief from your now terrifying life.

Your third call of the day and you were yawning into you hand. You lifted the receiver and leaned back in your chair. “Gem Vacations, how can I help you?”

“You sound tired,” The deep voice had you stalk straight in your seat.

“Excuse me?” You glanced around at the desks around you. Your co-workers unaware as they typed and chattered in their customer service voices.

“Come on, you know who this is,” He taunted and you gripped the edge of your desk.

“What do you want?” You lowered your voice as you hid behind your screen. “I’m at work.”

“Just checking in. How’s Ethan coping?” You didn’t answer and he chuckled. “Ah, I figured as much. Weak little boy.” He was nonchalant; cloying. “I was only trying to help him. Show him how it’s done, ya know?”

“Why are you doing this?” You rasped as you tried not to tremble.

“I’ve always been told that everything happens for a reason. I never took it as more than an empty cliche.” You could hear his smirk. “But I figured I found you up there for a reason. All alone...what were the odds? It had to be for something, right?”

“No,” You answered evenly.

“So, where are you staying now that Ethan’s tucked his tail and run?” Again, you stayed silent. “Ah, don’t worry, I’ll figure it out. Maybe...your sister’s? She seems like a nice girl. You’re pretty close, so it’s only natural--”

“Leave her out of this,” You struggled not to raise your voice. “This has nothing to do with her.”

“No, it’s all about you, girl,” He snarled. “So, let’s not make it about anyone else by doing anything stupid. Understood?”

Your blood went cold and you leaned your chin in your hand as you tried not to scream. “Please, just leave me alone.” You slammed the receiver down harder than you meant to and stood. You rushed to the bathroom and locked yourself in as your ears rang. You felt a buzz in your pocket and pulled out your cell phone.  _Private Caller._  You answered, knowing who it was already.

“Now, now, we don’t do that, okay?” Steve warned from the other end. “Because  _that_ was stupid.” You swallowed as you stared at the painting of roses hung over the toilet. “Answer me.”

“Okay, okay, I’m--sorry,” Your breath shattered out of you.

“Good,” He replied sharply, “So this is how it’s going to go. I’m out of town at the moment. Business, you see? But I’ll be back soon. So, if you want me to leave Gia alone, you’ll keep me distracted, won’t you?”

“Yes,” You answered through gritted teeth.

“That’s ‘yes, Captain’,” He corrected, “With a little less attitude, girl.”

“Yes, Captain,” You softened your tone as you leaned against the door weakly.

“Good girl,” He preened from the speaker, “Now, go on and get back to work.”

The line died and you slowly lowered your phone. You tucked it into your pocket and neared the sink. You stared at yourself in the mirror; your eyes heavy with sleep, your shoulders slumped in defeat. Now, you had lost  _everything._

-

A few days into your stay on Gia’s floor and you finally found the time to visit the grocery store. You had cleaned out her cupboards and take out was growing pricey. You had a list, a budget, and a focus. Get everything you needed and get out. Life had become a series of tasks. Concentrate on this, then this, then this. You looked for any distraction to keep your fear from bubbling past your stomach. When you did have a chance to think, you were ready to vomit. 

Steve said he would be back soon.  _When was soon?_  Despite your efforts, these intrusive thoughts poked through. The dread. The presence that followed you around. From your air mattress to the bus seat to your office chair. The shadow loomed over you like the hawk over the field mouse. That was exactly what you felt like. A helpless critter to Steve. A repulsive rodent to Ethan.

The rush of people with their carts and baskets helped ease you. When you were around crowds, you felt safer. Before it had been the opposite. He was gone.  _Don’t think about it._  Cereal. That was next.  _Did you want the granola with protein or the sugary childhood indulgence?_  You pondered the decision as if it were life changing. Every minute felt like your last.

You sighed and dug your heel into the floor. You weren’t a child anymore. Naivety was long gone. You reached for the organic oats. The box was swiped from your grasp before you fingers could grasp it and you followed the thick hand up the muscles arm to its owner. Your lips parted and you stepped back instinctively. You glanced behind you, Gia still at the other end of the aisle. She was focused on finding the right blend of coffee beans. She always used the in store grinder and...it was a whole process.

You turned back and tried to grab another box of cereal. Steve caught your hand and pushed it back down. You kept your eyes away from him and bit down on your anger. “What’s the matter? You don’t seem the impatient type.” Your eyes flitted over to him and your nostrils flared. “I tried to be quick but...shit never goes as planned.”

Your irritation quickly dissipated to fear. The fact that he was truly there was much more startling than your nightmares. Than the anxiety which had strung together his absence. You peeked over your shoulder at Gia and heard the granola shake in its cardboard shell. You turned back as Steve shook the box as if for a pet.

“Ask nicely and I’ll give it back,” You realized he was toying with you. “Might even leave before she notices me.”

“Please,” You tried to keep calm as you stared up at him. You were still utterly confused by the man. The last you had heard of him he had been the valiant American patriot turned stubborn refugee. Now he was your own personal nightmare. “May I have the cereal?”

He smirked and held it out to you. He watched as you took it and his eyes darkened. They slipped down and he licked his lips as he stared at the collar of your shirt. “Midnight. Eastern Vale Hotel. Room 346.” He leaned in and lowered his voice. “I’d suggest you show up on time cause I won’t wait long before I come find you…” His eyes strayed past you, “And I might just find someone else, too.”

He backed away and grabbed a box of instant oatmeal from beside him. He pretended to read the ingredients as he strolled casually down the aisle and around the corner. You squeezed the box in your hands, almost crushing it as it crumpled at the edges. You shook your head and tossed it in the cart. Gia approached with a bag of coffee; you could smell it even before she placed it in the basket of the cart.

“They have free trade beans now,” She peered into the cart. “Mmm, maple nut?”

“They have very berry. We can switch.” You offered as you leaned on the handle. You’d rather one untainted by the super soldier.

“No, not, it’s cool. I like maple.” She shrugged. “Oh! I almost forgot. We desperately need toilet paper.” 

You followed her as she marched ahead of the cart and you sighed. As you turned down the next aisle your eye caught a broad silhouette near the check out. Steve smiled as he placed the box of oatmeal on a shelf of chocolate bars and stepped over the chain that marked the counter as closed. He winked just before you disappeared down the row of paper towels and wipes.

-

Eastern Vale Hotel was far. You almost didn’t get there in time. Gia had taken her time that night, her usual procrastination as bedtime neared. Alas, she had an opening shift and you tiptoed out quietly as you her fan began to whir. You locked the door carefully behind you and rushed down to the street. You jogged to the next block and hopped in a vacant cap, numbly reciting the name of the hotel.

When you arrived, you had only a few minutes to climb the three flights to the room. You didn’t want to chance waiting for the elevator as it lagged. You counted the rooms until you reached 346 and you shivered. You raised your hand to knock but the door opened before your knuckles landed against the wood.

“Thought I heard you hiding out here,” Steve greeted. He wore nothing but a pair of jeans as the television babbled in the background. You stared past him into the room. You couldn’t bring yourself to step past the threshold as your entire being seized with dread. “Well, you gonna come in or should I just fuck you out here? Think the hotel might have a policy against that.”

You shook your head and stepped inside as he pressed himself to the door. You gulped as the lock clicked behind you and looked around the room. It was a pretty decent hotel. It was at least preferable to the Motel8. He followed close enough that you could feel his heat against you. You tried to move away from him but he caught the waist of your pants held you in place.

“Come on, let’s not play shy. Boyfriend’s gone, you’re on your sister’s couch. Really, I’m all you’ve got now. Best enjoy it while it lasts.” Your nostrils flared and you turned to slap him. He caught your hand and brought you against him. He bent your hand back until your wrist threatened to snap. “You really wanna play rough?”

_Fuck._ You had already messed up. He released your hand and you hissed in pain. He grabbed your neck instead and pushed you away from him. He led you back at arms length, his grasp unyielding. Your knees hit the side of the bed and you clung to his wrist as you struggled not to stumble. He released you with a light slap on your cheek.

“That’s a warning.” His fingers tugged at the vee of your shirt. “If you’re not naked in one minute, I’ll mean it next time.”

His jaw clenched and he back away with a sneer. You looked down to hide the chatter of your teeth and bent to remove your sneakers and socks. Next your pants as you blocked out the reality of his presence. You knew you couldn’t avoid it. You were here. You were trapped. This man had shown you there was no escape. Then your shirt as you stood straight, your bra and panties with resignation. You piled your clothes beside his on the couch near the end of the bed next to his.

He grabbed your upper arm and shoved you towards the bed. “Sit,” He ordered as he released you. You lowered yourself and he stood before you. He was naked. His cock was already hard. He stared down at you, his blue eyes pondered you and he stepped back. He turned and neared the small fridge just beside the television. “You think a drink would help you relax?”

You shook your head and looked down. The offer made your stomach turn. You didn’t need his meager kindness. You didn’t want to make this easier for him.

“No? Fine with me. Stuff tastes like shit to me and it doesn’t even give me a buzz.” He shrugged and neared once more. He sat beside you, his thick thigh against yours. It was even more obvious how much bigger he was than you. How much stronger he was. “You could try, I mean, we both know you enjoy yourself. You just can’t help it.”

“Fuck off,” You stiffened and made to stand.

He caught you and pulled you back down. He pushed you back against the bed, your legs bent over the side as he held you to the mattress. He leaned over you, his breath hot on your cheek, and he snarled. “You can try not to like it, but I know you will. And you can try to resist, but it’s going to happen. So, you can stay still and be a good girl or you can be a bitch and I can treat you like dog you are.” 

He tugged on your hair until your exclaimed. The tears rose in your eyes and you forced out a response. “Okay, okay, ow. Just let go.”

“Two strikes,” He released you and stood. 

He planted himself in front of you and pushed your knees apart. You closed your eyes as you let him move your legs. He gripped your thighs and you felt his weight against you as he lowered himself to kneel before you. You peeked down at him and hid your surprise. His gaze was fixed on your pussy.

He bowed his head and you squeezed your eyes shut once more. You felt his breath against you and shivered. His hands kneaded your thighs. He didn’t fail to notice the tremble. He nuzzled your little tuft of hair and you struggled not to squirm. You weren’t ready for this. You had braced yourself for his usual gruffness, but nothing so intimate. It was an act of dominance in itself. He knew you would quickly dissemble.

As his tongue met your pussy you inhaled sharply. You clawed at the blanket and bunched it in your fists. Your back arched without thinking and your toes pointed. He dragged his tongue deliberately up and down your folds. You swallowed back the moan that bubbled in your throat. Your thighs tensed and he squeezed them. He could feel the instinctual reaction of your body.

He lapped again and again. Several times before his tongue swirled around your clit. That surprised you and a squeak escaped your lips. The sound only encouraged him. He circled his tongue over and over. Suckled as your legs began to close. He pushed your thighs to the side of his head as he buried his face between your legs and you rasped through bared teeth. You couldn’t fight the surge. 

You slapped your hand over your mouth as you cried out in ecstasy. Your thighs clamped around Steve’s head and your back arched. The electricity flooded through you until you were left breathless and weak. Your legs hung over his shoulders as the after waves rolled over you. You rarely came so fast.

“I told you,” Steve taunted as he wiped his mouth. 

He grabbed your ankles and stood. You thought to turn and crawl away from him but you hear this threat echo in your head;  _‘Two strikes’._  A third would no doubt lead to worse. He leaned your legs against him as he stepped closer. He reached down and angled his cock against your entrance. He gave no warning as he pushed inside. You whimpered and balled your hands around the blanket at your sides. The bed shifted beneath you.

He lifted your ass from the mattress and bottomed out. You grit your teeth as his hands gripped your hips. He pulled out of you and thrust back in as hard as he could. You exclaimed at the pain. He repeated his motion and your hands latched onto his as he used your body. Your weight rested on your shoulders as you hung at an angle atop the bed. You felt the familiar bloom and swore. 

“You gonna cum?” He teased. “Hmm? I can see it.” He grunted as he rocked into you, your moans grew louder by the moment. “You just can’t handle a real man can you?” You mewled and felt the gush around his cock as you came. “There it is. Look at you. So messy.”

You growled as you tried to withhold another orgasm but were surprised by another eruption. The phone rang but Steve did not slow. He reached over and grabbed the receiver, his voice strained as he answered; his heady breaths uncensored. “Yeah?” He raised a brow at the chatter from the other end. He shrugged and sped up. “Sure, whatever.”

He hung up and snarled. He pushed you further up on the bed and shoved his knees on the mattress beside you. Your legs were bent to your chest as he raised his pelvis and slammed back into you. You cried out in double-edged pain. Despite how rough he was, it felt so delicious. He brought his hand up and clasped it over your mouth.

“They said we gotta shut up,” He rasped in your ear. His motion never wavered as he folded you beneath him. He delved even deeper than before and you came with a whine into his palm.

He hammered into you and you were certain the bed frame would collapse. You moaned against his hand; the smell of his sweat filled your nostrils. His dark blond hair hung around his head and tickled your cheek. He slowed to sharp jabs and plunged decisively to his limit as a deep grunt tensed his body. He rode out his climax as his cum burst within you.

He stilled and rested his weight atop you. He hung his head and his hand slipped from your mouth. His breath evened out, humid against your neck, and he clung to you as he suddenly rolled over. He took you with him so you were atop him and you looked down at him with dazed eyes.

“Fuck me,” He ordered. You blinked at him in confusion and he smacked your ass. “Move.”

You carefully began to rock your hips. Your sensitive clit rubbed against him and you shuddered. He kneaded your ass as you balanced yourself with hands against his chest.

“Faster,” His eyes followed the movement of your body and his hands followed. He cupped your breasts and flicked the nipples as he played with them. He squeezed them together as you followed his direction. “Faster.” He said again and his hands slipped to your waist. “That’s it.” He said as you bucked against him wildly; both in obedience and an effort to catch your budding orgasm. “You’re gonna cum already, aren’t you?”

You threw your head back and pressed your lips together to keep from crying out. Your nails dug into his flesh as you orgasmed and you eased yourself down from the crest. He sat up and hooked his arms under your legs and you clung to him to keep from falling off. He stood with you aloft, legs bent and wide as he kept you on his cock. 

He walked across the room as if you weighed nothing. You felt a cool breeze along your back and glanced over your shoulder as he neared the window. It was open just a crack, the curtains pulled back entirely. He pushed your back against the glass and you wriggled helpless in his grasp. 

“You don’t wanna draw attention to yourself, do you?” He hooked your legs around his waist as he spoke. “Better hold on.”

You hooked your legs around him as he pinned your wrists against the window. He thrust into you, resuming the same harsh pace as before. You felt the glass strain and your eyes widened. If the window broke, you were fucked. Given the force with which he was fucking you, if you didn’t hold on, you’d go flying down the next block.

“Did Ethan not fuck you good enough, huh?” The mention of his name made you blanch. Your sweaty back stuck to the window as he jolted your body against it and you surrendered. This was what you were now. Ethan was gone and you were just...this. A thing to be used. Humiliated. “ You’re so fucking tight.  Goddamn.”

He swore and bottomed out. He filled you once more with his cum and you closed your eyes as the wave of euphoria was replaced by revulsion. With him. With yourself. You shook as he let go of your wrists and you leaned against him to get away from the glass. He his hands went to your ass and he turned back to the room.

“I was thinking the couch next? Maybe the chair?” He snickered as he crossed the room. “Then we can clean up in the shower…”


	4. Adrift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tries to start over but there’s one thing she can’t shake.
> 
> Warnings: noncon sex (oral and intercourse), angst. This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. I mean it, I’m not gonna tell you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really my goal here is just to see how much of an asshole I can make Steve. I like to think I’ve done a decent job of that so without further ado here’s some nomad!Steve you wanna punch in the face.
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think as always. Love ya <3

You had never kept a real secret from Gia. It felt like a second betrayal; first Ethan, now her. You were sisters, you told each other everything. As any sibling, you had your arguments, but they never lasted long. You always ended up laughing about it in the end. Not this. Never this. She couldn’t know about  _this_.

You tiptoed through the door upon your return from the hotel. Despite the shower, you felt dirty. Steve hadn’t really let you wash up. You could feel him now; his body against yours as he pressed you the frosted glass of the stall. It was just as precarious as the window. The phone rung several more times. He didn’t care.

The air mattress was half-deflated. You didn’t care as you laid across it, wide awake until the sun rose. You woke at the same time as Gia and readied in silence for work. She wasn’t much of a morning person but you didn’t mind so much. You had your coffee, a bowl of granola, and headed out. Menial customer issues would distract you from much greater problems. You couldn’t wait.

You expected to hear from Steve that night. Again, you were wrong. You never knew with this man. He was entirely unpredictable. That was worse than his brutality. The sheer effect he had on you. The pit that formed in your stomach when you thought of him. The way it plummeted when he finally appeared before you. The way his voice made you quake.

That night, you jumped every time a car drove by or the fridge kicked up and began to buzz. You didn’t sleep much more than the previous night. The pattern held. Restless nights, empty days. You distracted yourself with work then searched online for a new apartment. The sooner you were away from Gia the better. You could hear his threats still. You’d never forgive yourself if he touched her.  _Hell,_ you’d never forgive yourself after what he did to Ethan.

When you did find a place for yourself, it was both a relief and a smack in the face. You’d be on your own for the first time in two years. It was frightening even without the super soldier lurking in the shadows. Another week and you’d be due to move in. You had a lot to do and it kept you from dwelling over greater problems. You found a lightly used sofa online and your mother offered the old dining table she had placed in storage last year. You pieced together your new life; a patchwork of odds and ends. The perfect reflection of the chaos which had taken over.

Gia was back on afternoons. The boutique she worked at was high-end and often demanded more than the usual customer service. The suits and socialites who frequented weren’t shy with the staff. Drinks at the hottest most expensive clubs and gifts for those chosen as favourites. Your sister wasn’t coy about her lifestyle. She liked to party and was intent on enjoying her youth while it lasted. You were always been the safe one. Boring, even. 

A text assured you she wouldn’t be home till morning if at all before her next shift. It wasn’t unusual. It happened once before since you started staying with her. You only made sure that she was smart and safe in her decisions. A tracker on her phone to keep you assured. 

It was almost eleven. You had the next day off and no reason to pretend to sleep. You sat on the air mattress, your back against the couch, as reruns of Friends blared from the television. You were growing a bit sleepy as you sunk down against the single pillow. It was an oddly peaceful night. Your new normal. Alone…until you weren’t.

The door handle clicked and the lock slid open. You reached for your phone and checked for a missed message as you called over your shoulder. “I thought you said you were staying out, Gi,” You chuckled. “Typical, always back in time to ruin my–” You sat up and waited for her to appear at the end of the hall. “Shit.” You swore as another stood in her place.

Steve smiled and leaned against the door frame. You gulped and got to your knees. “Ah, stay,” He pushed himself away from the wall, “You look…” He neared the end of the mattress knelt down to lift a knee onto it. “Cozy,” He smirked as he crawled towards you. He sat against the couch just beside you and cracked his neck. “I know I’ve been a bit M.I.A. lately but I’ll make it up to you.” 

You stared at him bewildered. He acted as if this was completely normal. Barging into your sister’s apartment and sitting next to you as if he wasn’t your own personal tormentor. He stretched his arm over your shoulders and sighed. 

“I’ve seen this before,” He pointed to the screen, “I like the sarcastic one.”

You blinked. He was batshit crazy. You lowered your eyes to your lap and played with the strings of your pajama shorts. He pulled you closer and you stiffened. 

“What if she had been here?” You gritted.

“You’re cute,” He teased, “It is my mission to know everything about you. Every thought you have, every move you make…even now I know exactly what’s running through that stubborn little head of yours.” Your nostrils flared as you glared at him. “I really think you should just get it all out.”

You narrowed your eyes but said nothing.

“You wanna hit me so I think maybe you should and see what happens,” You balled your fist but kept from striking him. He was goading you so that you’d do the same to him. You shook your head and looked away. “Well, if you’re not gonna hit me, you better stop looking at me like that.”He grabbed your chin and turned your head back to him. His hand slipped down to your neck and he squeezed. 

“That look really pisses me off,” He sneered, his grip grew tighter around your throat. “And I’ve barely earned it. I think I’ve been rather nice so far.” Your head felt as if it was swelling as you gasped for breath. He leaned in and hissed in your ear, “I could’ve killed him, you know that? And it would’ve been all your fault.” He released you roughly and you replaced his hand with yours, “I could still do it so why don’t you wipe that snarl off your face and put that mouth to some use.”

You stared at him and he smugly unzipped his jeans. Your eyes fell as he parted his fly and pulled his cock out above the vee. You had never met anyone so brazen. So completely evil. His cock wasn’t hard enough to stand on its own. You closed your eyes and swallowed. Your lips trembled as you searched for the strength.  _Just do it. Get it over with._

You slid over and bent over him, your back against his torso as you held yourself up with a hand on the other side of him. You took his cock and began to stroke him. You felt it twitch and harden. You bowed your head and flicked your tongue across his tip. He stretched his fingers across the back of your head and pushed you down. You opened your lips around him and he forced his cock to the back of your throat.

You slid your mouth up and down his length as he pet the back of your head. He was hard within seconds. You gagged on him and your shoulders shook. He ran his hand between them as you fought to hold back the next retch. You swallowed around him and caught your breath. You continued to bob your head, your neck ached from the awkward angle.

He moaned and held onto the back of your neck. The air mattress dipped beneath your weight as you shifted it on the floor. Your jaw began to hurt and you felt as if you had been sucking him for an hour. Your spit dribbled along the vee of his pants and you worked more vigorously in hopes that you’d be done. His voice grew louder and you were assured of his imminent release.

He came down your throat as he held you there. You gulped it down as best you could, your throat constricted around his cock. You slapped the mattress as you struggled for air and finally he let go. You sat up and heaved, his cum smeared around your lips. You leaned against the couch heavily and the mattress jostled below you.

“You don’t think we’re done, do you?” He growled.

Steve grabbed your arm and led you flat onto the mattress. He grabbed the elastic of your shorts and tore them down your legs. He tossed them on the floor and pushed your legs apart. He shoved his jeans down just below his ass and leaned over you, an elbow beside your head as he positioned himself at your entrance. 

“I know you missed me,” He pushed inside and you squeaked. “Goddamn, I can just feel it.” He snaked a hand beneath your tank top and fondled your tit. “Your so fucking wet. Can you hear that?” 

He held his breath as he thrust into you. You could hear how slick you were as he moved in and out of you. You turned your head in shame and his hot breath rushed over you. You couldn’t help the bloom you felt as he plunged into you. He was just as rough as any other time. He pressed you into the mattress until you felt the floor beneath. 

You moaned as he pushed your shirt up your torso. He kept his rhythm as he bowed his head to take a nipple in his mouth. You arched your back at the tingle it sent down your spine. You grasped the sheets below to keep from grabbing the back of his head. Even if you didn’t want it to feel good, it did. You bent your legs around him and he ground harder into you.

You whimpered as you tried to smother your orgasm in your palm. He reached up and pulled your hand away as you exclaimed, your walls pulsed around him as you came. He lifted his head to watch the storm of pleasure and shame that swept over you. It only spurred him on and his hips snapped against yours. 

He grunted and wrapped his thick fingers around your wrists. He held your hands above your head as he raised and dropped his pelvis with all his weight. He bottomed out each time and you whined. You gasped for air and snarled. Your entire body tensed and a sudden bang filled your ears. The air rushed out from beneath you. You were pressed to the floor as Steve gave no heed to the deflating mattress.

He kept hold of your wrists as he pushed himself up. His buried himself inside of you and gave a roar. His hot cum filled you and seeped out around his cock as he rode out his orgasm. He slowed to a stop and pulled out. He let go of you and reached down to slip his finger inside of you. 

“You feel that, hmm? I’m inside of you,” He leaned back on his heels to watch himself play with his cum. You tried to press your legs together and he pinched your thigh. “You like it when I cum in you, don’t you?” You pressed your lips together and shook your head. “Don’t lie.” He slapped your thigh and you cried out.

“Yes,” You knew he’d never believe otherwise and you weren’t quite sure it wasn’t the truth. “Yes, I like it.”

“I know you do,” He shoved another finger inside and you wiggled your hips. “Look at you. So desperate.” You moaned and slung your arm over our face to hide. He pulled it away and removed his hand from your pussy. “Tell me you want me to fuck you again.”

Your eyes widened and your heart raced. You licked your bottom lip before you spoke. “I…want you to fuck me.”

“Hmm?” He cupped his ear. “What was that?” He slid his fingers out and dragged themalong your folds. “I want you to beg me so I can hear you.”

You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply.  _What if Gia came home early? What if he stayed too long and she walked in on you? How would you explain this? What would Steve do? To you? To her?_ You needed him gone sooner than later.

“Please, Captain,” You inserted the title in hopes it would appease him. You opened your eyes and lifted your head as you pouted up at him. “Please fuck me.” He brought his fingers back along your entrance and danced around it. “Please, I need you to fuck me.” You spread your legs as wide as you could. “Fuck me, Captain.”

He pushed his fingers inside and chuckled as you spasmed against his hand. He pressed his thumb to your clit and curled his fingers inside of you. You gasped and clung to the mess of sheets around you. “Tell me exactly how you want me to fuck you.” He kept his hand moving, enough that you were panting and twitching.

“I want, um, I want…” You gulped as he plucked at your core with his fingers. “You to fuck me…” You tried to think but it was all so blurry as the pressure gathered around his hand. “Fuck me…fuck me…” You struggled to keep your thoughts straight as you dropped your head back to the flat mattress. “Fuck…me…from behind.” You hissed as your thighs began to shake, “Captain.”

You came with a cry. Your entire body went limp and your chest rose and fell rapidly with your breaths. He slowly withdrew his fingers and brought them to your lips. He shoved them in your mouth and pressed against your tongue until you licked away your own cum. He smiled and pulled them out, his other hand on your hip.

“Go on and turn over,” He commanded and wiped his fingers down your chest. “Get that ass up.”

-

It was the first of the month. The first day of the rest of your life.  _What a fucking cliche_. It was what Gia had said that morning when you woke up. The night before you had returned to the apartment you had shared with Ethan and gathered up the few boxes of your possessions. Ethan had taken the bed, the couch, and the table. You got the armchair your grandmother had given you and the coffee table, but one leg of your desk had been conspicuously broken. You sent the rest of the furniture to the second-hand store and cleared out the last scraps of your old life.

Your new apartment was small but it would feel awfully big with next to no furniture. Your uncle had donated the old fold-out bed they kept for sleepovers when you were a kid and it would be the only piece in the bedroom but for the bookcase. The bed was easy enough to move. The metal frame and worn foam mattress were meant for convenience. It would be a sad sight in your new space. A perfect symbol of your fall from grace.

With the few pieces of furniture unloaded and dumped haphazardly in your front room, you began on the boxes. Six in total but each required its own trip. You followed Gia around the side of the building. The elevator was conveniently out of service and the back staircase was the shortest route to your apartment.  You left the door propped open for your second and third trip up, again you took the rear. 

You should’ve been excited about finally getting your new place but there was little to be happy about these days. Your life had continued in its usual gloom. Steve had visited several times since the night he broke your air mattress. Gia had shrugged at your explanation of tripping onto it and was even less fazed on those mornings she returned to find you grimly silent. Break-ups were hard; that’s what she must have thought.

The front of your box collided with Gia’s back as she stopped short and you looked up as a figure blocked the doorway. You hid your surprise behind the cardboard as Steve’s hands kept the box in Gia’s hands from overturning. 

“Woah,” He smiled, “Sorry about that. I didn’t even see you coming.”

“Oh, it’s…fine,” You heard the rise in her voice.  _Oh no, she thought he was cute_. “I should’ve looked where I was going.”

“Come on, Gi,” You grumbled.

“Here, let me help,” Steve kept hold of the box. She surrendered it easily and you held in a groan. “Wow, heavy.”

“You really don’t have to,” Gia chirped and you knew she was giving him that smile. You wanted to kick her in the ass.

“Really, you don’t,” You intoned from behind her. Steve’s eyes flicked over her shoulder to you and he adjusted the box in his arms. 

“Where are you headed?” He asked as he looked back to Gia.

“Fourth floor,” Her voice was bubbly. She had never had great taste in men but she couldn’t have chosen worse.

“Really? I’m on the fourth floor,” He turned and headed back inside. Gia followed eagerly and you slowly kicked yourself into step.

Gia peeked over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs ahead of you and smiled. “He’s cute,” She mouthed. You shook your head and frowned. You were out of breath by the fourth and a chill went through you as Gia announced your apartment number. He would’ve found out eventually, you were sure, but so soon?  _How had he even traced you here?_

He stepped back as she moved around him and opened the door. He nodded for you to pass and you avoided his eyes. You stepped inside and set the box with the rest. Steve did the same and straightened up with a sigh. 

“So, both of you moving in or…?”

“Just her,” Gia answered, “I’m just helping, you know, like a good sister.”

“Shhh,” You hushed her and crossed your arms.

“Well, I live just down the hall so…if you need anything,” He sounded like a completely normal person. This was an act he had perfected. “Oh, yeah, I’m Nick.”

You almost scoffed but instead hid it with a cough. Gia gave you a sharp look before turning back to ‘Nick’. “I’m Gia,” She introduced herself in a singsong. “I really appreciate the help.”

You recited your name mechanically and grumbled a thanks. You bent and opened a box. “If you don’t mind, we have unpacking to do.”

“Not at all,” Steve, or Nick, replied as he stood in the doorway. “I was actually just on my way out but I could spare a few seconds to help.” He slowly backed into the hall, “Have fun, you two.”

“Bye,” Gia chirped after him and you reached over to shut the door with a huff. She turned on you and smacked your shoulder as you sorted through the box. “What the fuck? Could you have been more of a bitch?”

“Quite possibly,” You answered as you stood. “I should’ve labelled these.”

“Not every guy is Ethan,” She said and you stopped.

“He definitely isn’t Ethan,” You growled. “Don’t you ever–”

“Why won’t you tell me what happened? You two, you were inseparable, and now–”

“Now we’re done. Things end, Gia.” You spat. “Whether we want them to or not.” You gulped as your eyes burned. You hadn’t cried over Ethan since the day you had broken up. The day after Steve had ruined everything. You shook your held sniffed back the tears. “I’m trying to start over. Alone.”

“Nice to know you still have a heart in there” She said, “You don’t always have to be strong, you know?”

“I’m not…strong,” You lifted the box and turned to carry it to the bedroom. You were thankful she couldn’t see your face as a tear trickled down your cheek. 

-

It didn’t take long to arrange your apartment. Not many words passed between you and Gia for the rest of the afternoon. She left just as the sun began to set and you were left to fill your bookcase and mope. This place felt as empty as you did. Airy and silent. You tossed the empty box with the rest in the corner of the living room and stared out at the greying sky. Shadows rippled across the bare walls and shrouded the doorframes. 

You returned to the bedroom and grabbed a towel from the linen closet beside the door. You yawned and retreated to the cube-like bathroom. It was small. Just wide enough for a bath. Another downgrade in your life. Another gripe to swallow. You hung the towel over the bar and twisted the faucet. You held your hand beneath the shower head, a good two minutes before the water warmed up. 

You were numb as you undressed and stepped into the steamy shower. You stood beneath the steady flow for ten minutes before you snapped out of your daze. You took the soap and scrubbed at your skin. The dust and sweat of your move slaked away. Then you grabbed the shampoo and lathered up your hair. You closed your eyes leaned back as you let the water wash away the bubbles.

The rings of the shower curtain whined against the metal and you shouted as you opened your eyes to an unexpected shadow. Steve’s hand was on the plastic curtain as he smirked back at you. You tried to cover yourself and he chuckled. You realized how pointless that was. You cranked the tap off and sighed. He reached back and grabbed the towel. He tossed it at you and stepped away from the shower.

“I like Gia,” He said, “She’s nice.”

You rubbed dry your hair and wrapped the towel around yourself. You tried not to slip as you stepped out of the shower. You gripped the wall as your anger flashed. “Don’t you talk about her. Don’t you even think–”

“Oh, don’t trouble yourself,” He casually walked out of the tight bathroom, “If I had wanted to do something, I would’ve done it.” He turned back as he leaned on the wall just outside your bedroom. “You know I could’ve.”

You stopped just outside the bathroom door. You crossed your arms and sneered up at him. “Haven’t you done enough?”

“You should be thanking me. I got you your independence.” He pushed himself away from the wall. His boots echoed on the hardwood as he strode into the front room. “Come on. Don’t make me drag you.” He called over his shoulder. You followed reluctantly. “Obviously, Ethan just wasn’t doing the job well enough.”

You kept quiet as he neared the couch. He dragged his hand along the stiff arm and bent to test the spring beneath his fingers. He turned back and pointed to the cushion; a wordless order. You inched over to him and he laughed.

“I mean, look at you. You don’t even put up a fight anymore.” As you came around the coffee table he reached out and ripped the towel from around you. “On your knees.” He pointed to the couch. Your nostrils flared as you glared at him. You didn’t move. “Don’t you ever think about the cabin? How easily you just let me in. I think you were waiting for me. Something in you needs me.”

Your lips parted as you stared up at him.  _Was he right? Had you just been waiting for the chance to betray Ethan? How hard had you fought?_ Sure, you were afraid but you could have resisted him. You should have bled rather than surrendered. 

“No, it’s not true,” You said weakly. You stepped back and he caught your arm. “Let go of me.” You brought your fist up and he easily deflected it. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I never wanted to.”

“You can deny yourself, but you can’t deny me,” He snarled as he twisted you around to face the couch. He pressed himself to your back and pushed your legs against the sofa. “You can say no but your body….” He tisked, “It doesn’t lie.”

His grabbed the back of your neck and pushed you forward until you were forced to lift your knees onto the couch. You clung to the back as he released you. He smacked the back of your head and you barely kept yourself from hitting the wall. 

“Now, let’s not try that again.” He slapped your ass next and you yelped. “I’ve been patient. Nice, even, but you’re really pushing it.” 

Another strike across your rear and your chest was to the back of the couch. He kneaded your ass and you heard him fumbling with his belt. You closed your eyes and shuddered. The clink of his buckle was followed by the descent of his zipper. You braced yourself as he dragged his boots closer to the couch. 

He slipped his hard cock between your cheeks and rubbed it along your entrance. He pushed in without warning and you hissed. He bottomed out with a snap of his pelvis. You whimpered and he gripped your hips. He pulled out and thrust back in with even more force. He did not relent as you lurched forward, your forehead pressed to the cool wall.

“I ran into Ethan,” He said between ragged breaths. Your head shot up and he shoved it back into the wall, one hand still on your hip as you arched your back against him. “Outside of Gia’s. I think he was missing you.”

“Nooo.” You rasped, “S-s-stop…”

“He saw before I could hide. Too bad.” Steve gloated as he rammed into you over and over. “You should’ve seen his face,” He grunted and your moans were close to sobs. “You know, I’m not gonna lie to the boy. Better for all of us.”

“Get–away. Get away from me,” You tried to push back but he held you to the couch. He slammed into even hard, each thrust punctuated by a whimper.

“He asked if we were fucking. I said yes. He tried to hit me,” Steve paused as he caught his breath. His motion didn’t waver. “Don’t worry, I didn’t hurt–him.” He grunted and kept on, “But I don’t think he’ll be bothering–us, ugh, any–more.”

He sank into you completely and came. He rocked his hips slowly and rode out his climax. His cum seeped out around his cock and he reached between your legs to spread it down your thighs. He pulled out carefully and let go of you. You stayed as you were, too ashamed to face him.

“Turn around and clean up your mess,” He slapped your ass, “Don’t make me tell you twice.”

You shook as you pushed away from the wall. You turned as his cum continued to dribble down your thighs. You sat back on your heels and stared at his cock. His hand cradled your jaw and he urged you on. You opened your mouth and slipped your lips around his tip. You could taste yourself on him. 

You pressed on until he was at the back of your throat. You bobbed your head a few times before he was fully hard again. You pushed your tongue against his cock as the cum and saliva wetted your lips. Your mouth made slick sounds around him as you leaned forward on your hands. A pang pinched your neck and you hummed around him as you struggled to breathe.

“Fuck, girl,” His hand was on the back of your head again. “I told you to clean up, not make a bigger mess.”

He shoved himself deeper down your throat with each thrust and your hands slipped from the edge of the couch to the front of his jeans. You clung to him as you struggled not to fall over. You could feel the tremble in him. The only sign of humanity you had ever witnessed in him and he came again. You swallowed and he moaned in approval as he kept your head moving until he was done.

He pushed you away from him, a string of spit and cum hung between your mouth and his cock as you fell back on the couch. You were entirely drained. Your lip trembled as you slumped over on your side and buried your face in your hands.  _Don’t cry, don’t cry,_ you urged yourself. _Don’t let him see you cry._

You sniffed and pushed yourself up. He watched as you wiped your mouth and met his gaze. The corner of his lips twitched and he gave a low chuckle. “You’re so fucking stubborn, you know that?”


	5. Crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve continues to haunt the reader.
> 
> Warnings: noncon sex (oral and intercourse), angst, rude words from a rude dude. This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. I mean it, I’m not gonna tell you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve’s a fucking dick in this series and I need y’all to just know that I know that. This motherfucker is making me suffer and so I must pass it onto you like the tape from the Ring. He’s honestly suck a fucker and I can’t.
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think as always. Love ya <3

In the two weeks since you had moved in, your dread had infringed upon every second. You counted the minutes until his next visit. You expected his intrusions and yet they were always unpredictable. As erratic as the man himself. As inconsistent as your life had become. 

* * *

 

You could not control Steve, could not prepare for him. You could only bide his presence until it was over. Until he left you to stew in your shame. To sink into your self-pity. To hate every inch of the body he had taken over. That which was no longer yours.

This was not your apartment, it was his. You could paint the walls, buy a new rug, hang your pictures, but it didn’t change the fact. Didn’t change his lingering shadow. The darkness that gathered in the corners at night reminded you of him. He could be everywhere and anywhere.

As he was that night. It was odd. Three nights in a row. You came home and he was there, waiting. The first, he had appeared just as you stepped off the bus. He walked with you as if you were together. As if there was anything normal about your association.

The second, he had been on your couch. A box of crackers emptied and the block of cheese half gone. He waved with two fingers but carried on his semi-slumber on your sofa. You tiptoed around your apartment and tried not to draw his attention, but every night ended the same. You expected that at least. 

He left when he was done with you. You didn’t sleep, merely counted the minutes until his return.

The third day, he called you. A Friday. A weekend ahead of you. Time off was no longer a luxury. You didn’t have time to yourself. 

“I’m waiting.” Was all he said. He didn’t await your response before he hung up. It didn’t matter that you had an hour left or that you were in the middle of another call. In his mind, you were already late.

You barely locked the door behind you before he was on you. There was no pretense that night. The top of your blouse undone, your pants pulled down just enough, and you were trapped between him and the wall. 

Your cheek was against the drywall as your back was arched painfully. He slammed into you, his grunts kept time with his hips. His jeans chafed against your ass, his sweat filled your nostrils. He had your wrists pinned over your head as you bit your lips. He was angry about something, but he never told you much. Only spoke if it meant humiliating you.

“You were late,” He hissed as he trapped your wrists in one hand. His other came up to the back of your neck.

“I was working,” You snarled. His nails dug into your skin.

“I don’t care,” He growled and bottomed out. He paused and sighed before he resumed. “I’ve waited for you too many times.” You closed your eyes and said nothing. Your jaw tensed and your body jolted with his sharp thrusts. “You need money?”

You bared your teeth and kept quiet. He scoffed and sped up. Your fingers curled and his grip tightened. His grunts stretched to long groans. He swore as he rode out his orgasm and his cum seeped out around his cock.

A knock came at the door and your eyes snapped open. He released you and pulled out quickly. His cum dripped down your thighs as you pulled your pants up into place and buttoned them. You did up your blouse and neared the door. You peered out through the peep hole as the door rattled with another knock.

“Shit,” You looked over as Steve lazily tucked his cock in his pants. 

“I didn’t think we were that loud,” He smirked.

“Fucking hurry up,” You hissed. He straightened the hem of his tee and his smirked faded.

“What did you just say?” He scowled.

“Sorry, it’s...Gia,” She knocked again and you grabbed the handle. “Please, just...hide?”

“Nah, it’s cool,” He shrugged and neared. He leaned in as he lowered his voice. “Besides, last I checked, I make the rules.”

You looked at him. Your desperation crinkled between your brows. “Please...Captain.”

He nodded and backed away. He wasn’t convinced or impressed. He turned and walked into the kitchen. He glared at you as he opened the cupboard door beneath the sink. 

“You owe me, girl,” He warned as he sank down to his knees and turned onto his back. He fell onto his ass and reclined under the pipes. “I’ll just finish up with the plumbing, eh?”

“Thank you,” You whispered weakly.

“Thank me later,” His voice was dangerous, “Answer the goddamn door.”

You turned and unlocked the door before Gia could bang again. You tried not to pay attention to the wetness gathering in your panties. Your thighs were sticky in your wool pants and you felt entirely disgusting. You opened the door and smiled.

“Hey,” You greeted a frowning Gia.

“Hey? Jesus Christ, could you take any longer?” She shook her head, “I’ve been texting you.”

“Sorry, my phone’s still in my purse, I was just--” 

“Who’s that?” She pushed past you into the apartment.

“I think it’s just a clog,” Steve called from under the sink. “No leak.”

“Is that--?” She mouthed as she looked back to you. Her voice rose to a murmur, “Glad to see you making friends.”

“Landlord is out of office and...he offered,” You hated how easily you lied these days.

“And you accepted,” She poked your side and stepped into the kitchen. 

Steve sat up and turned to pull himself up with the counter. He closed the cupboard and smiled at Gia. “Hey.”

“Nick,” She greeted warmly, “How’s it going?”

“Freelancing now, I guess,” He shrugged. He grabbed the cloth from the oven handle and wiped his hands. “A little plumbing issue but nothing serious. And you? Haven’t seen you around since the move.”

“Work,” She leaned against the counter and looked back at you. “Don’t tell me you forgot?”

“What?” You asked.

“You can’t be serious,” She crossed her arms, “It’s Friday.”

“Shit,” You cursed, “I’m sorry Gia, I’ve been working and--”

“I work too but I don’t forget when we plan something,” She snapped, “You’re not busy…” She glanced back at Steve as he pretended to fiddle with the sink. “Are you?”

“No, I think he’s almost done,” You intoned, “Thank again...Nick.”

“Not at all,” He stepped away from the sink, “Should be good to go now.”

“Wait,” Gia blocked him from squeezing past her, “You...you wanna join us for a drink? We’re just heading to the bar down the road.”

His cheek twitched. He was going to smirk. His blue eyes flicked over to you and you shook your head. He smiled. “Sure, if I’m not intruding, of course.”

“Intruding? No.” She replied and sent you a wink over her shoulder. “It’s a nice place. Just on the corner with the patio.”

“Think I know the one,” He said.

“Besides, my sister owes you for the plumbing,” She sang, “You’ll just have to tolerate our girlish prattle.”

-

Steve was on his second beer and Gia was awaiting her next cocktail. You had barely touched your glass of ginger and rye. You were too antsy for that. Even if it would have calmed your nerves, you feared you might slip. Admit something which might give away your true predicament. The real reason your life had disassembled so quickly.

She was just snickering at her own joke when you finally found your voice. “What about that guy you met? Ben, was it?” You asked.

“Ben...that’s actually what I was hoping to talk to you about tonight but I won’t bore our company with that,” You could tell by her tone that it was going well. It made you wonder then why she had asked Steve to come along tonight. You squinted at her.

“Later, then,” You took a sip of your drink.

“I don’t mind,” Steve leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms. He hung one over the back of yours casually. Gia’s lips twitched as she noticed. “My life’s pretty boring at the moment. Who’s this Ben?”

“A client at my boutique,” Her cheeks rounded prettily as she grinned, “He asked me out to dinner and...well, it was so nice. Doesn’t hurt that he bought me this.” She pulled her hair away from her neck and showed off the single square diamond on its silver chain. “We’re going out again tomorrow.”

“Wow, Gia,” You drew a line through the condensation on your glass, “He sounds...married.”

“That was one time,” She sneered, “And divorced, actually.”

Steve laughed. “Dating. Fun, isn’t it?”

“Don’t miss it,” You grumbled. You thought of Ethan; of how you never thought you’d even have to think of dating ever again. You frowned and gulped down the rest of your rye. “Awful.”

“You just need a rebound,” Gia trilled, “To get you over the hump...in more ways than one.”

“Jesus, Gi,” You grumbled and signaled to the waiter. Drinking sounded even more appealing as the night wore on. Steve’s hand clung to your chair. “It’s barely been a month.”

“You think Ethan’s waiting? I heard he went out with some girl, Sarah, last week.” She said. Your heart dropped and you tipped your empty glass at the server to signal a refill. 

“What?” You felt the air rush from you. Sarah was a co-worker.  _That was fast._

“I’m sorry, I didn’t--”

“No, it’s...we’re over,” You stood and Steve kept the chair from wobbling before rescinding his arm. “I gotta...use the restroom.”

You squeezed past Steve and wove between the other tables on the patio. You ducked inside and followed the signs that led downstairs to the bathrooms. The stalls were tight and didn’t lock properly. It didn’t matter. You kept the seat down and sat. You held your head and breathed.  _How much longer could you pretend?_

You heard the door open and stood. You flushed as if you had used the toilet and exited to wash your hands. You stared in the mirror as you lathered the soap and rinsed. You dried your hands and shivered. Another drink and you’d call it a night.

When you returned to the table, Gia and Steve seemed entirely at ease, though your sister was distracted with her phone screen. Steve turned to watch as you approached the table and sat. Your second drink had arrived and you picked it up without pause.

“Oh, I was just texting mom,” Gia looked up and set her phone aside. “I was just letting her know that Nick’s coming to the barbecue on Sunday.”

“He what?” You slammed your drink down and choked.

“I invited him,” She said, “Jeez, he’s right here. You think you’d be a little nicer considering--”

“No, no, I just...I forgot about the barbecue,” You wiped your mouth with a napkin and cleared your throat.

“Keep a fucking calendar,” She rolled her eyes, “You know mom will be pissed if you don’t show up.”

“Yeah, I know, I’ll...go, okay?” You avoided Steve’s gaze as he stayed quiet.

“Either way, you’re still invited, Nick,” Gia chimed. “It’s a neighbourhood thing. Everyone goes.”

-

You couldn’t tell if Steve was that talented a pretender of if Gia was that gullible. She had eaten up everything he said and he had loved every moment of it. You could feel his arrogance; his self-satisfaction at his deceit. His hand on your thigh when Gia wasn’t looking. He was reminding you; he owned you and he could just as easily own everyone around you.

Gia had ducked into a cab outside the bar, giggling as she declared her intent to see Ben. She grinned between the two of you as Steve assured her he’d get you home safely and you held back a scowl. When the yellow door closed and the headlights disappeared at the next corner, your heart sank. 

You walked in silence back to your apartment. Steve’s mask had slaked away. You wondered if it was a shadow of the man he had once been. Of the Captain America who had saved the world several times over.  _Had he been tainted by some unknown misfortune or had he always hidden this depravity?_

He stopped outside your building and turned to you. He leaned on the door and held out his hand. You stared at his palm in the shadows of the flickering overhead light.

“Keys,” He snapped his fingers. “Jesus.”

You dug around in your pocket and fished out the jingling key ring. He snatched it and crossed his arms. “You owe me, remember?” You frowned and peered back at the sidewalk. He reached over and played with the tail of your shirt. “I expect an answer.”

“Yes, sir,” You grumbled and avoided his gaze.

“Oh, come on,” He grabbed your chin and made you look at him. He looked sinister in the dark. His hair shrouded his face, his blue eyes sunken in bottomless pits, and the lines of his face seemed even deeper. “I don’t have to lie for you, girl. I  _really_  don’t.”

“Yes, sir,” You croaked as his grip on your jaw tightened, “Thank you, sir.”

“I could’ve told her what a slut you are, hmmm? The real reason Ethan tucked tail and ran,” He smirked and ran his thumb along your cheek. “I’m sure I’ll run into her again at this little family picnic.”

“I said thank you,” You clung to his wrist as he squeezed harder, “Please, Captain, thank you.”

“I don’t want you to say thank you,” He released your chin and wriggled free of your grasp. He pushed himself away from the metal frame and turned to the door. “I want you to show me,” He unlocked it and pulled it open, “And you better make me believe it.”

He held the door open and waved you through. You gulped and stepped ahead of him. He was close behind as you led the way. As you climbed the stairs, he tickled the back of your thighs and pinched your ass. Your head buzzed with alcohol, but it could as easily be the anxiety. 

When you reached your apartment, his arm snaked around your waist and drew you against him. He unlocked the door with one hand and ushered you inside, his bulge obvious through the denim of his jeans. The door snapped shut and you felt blindly through the dark as Steve clung to you.

“Bedroom,” He ordered, his hot breath embraced you. “It’s all you, girl.”

You continued to the small room. You flipped the light on his hands explored your hips. He was holding back, waiting for you to guide him. _‘Make me believe it’_. He parted and watched you. You rubbed your hands together as you turned to him and he tilted his head. He stared at you; expectant. You didn’t dare tweak his impatience.

You neared him and pushed back the collar of his shirt. You slipped the sleeves down his arms and smelled the sweat woven into his tee. He let you. His passivity was peculiar; alarming. You dropped the button-up and tugged up the hem of his t-shirt. Your fingers glided over his muscled sides and reminded you of his strength.

He lifted his arms and bent to let you remove the shirt. That you let fall with the other and he stepped closer. He leaned over you and his nose brushed the top of your head. He breathed you in before he stood straight. 

“Go on,” He urged and looked down at his bare torso. 

You bit your lip and followed his gaze. Your fingertips were tentative along the top of his jeans. You unhooked the metal button and pushed down his zipper. His cock twitched against his briefs as you carefully shoved the denim lower. You could feel him watching you; judging you. It was as if he was measuring your every move. 

You bent as you forced his jeans down. You awkwardly unlooped the laces of his boots and he stepped out of them as you loosed them. You untangled his feet from jeans and socks alike and stood. His cock was visible through the snug fabric of his briefs. You grabbed the elastic roughly and fought to keep your nerve. 

You inched it past his erection and he sighed. You let his underwear fall free and you stared at his body. He stretched his fingers and flexed his arms as he cracked his neck. Almost as if restraining himself. You looked up at his fiery blue eyes and he grinned.

“Well?” His gaze drifted down, “Seems we’re only halfway there.”

You pressed your lips together and stepped back. You undressed swiftly. Sneakers kicked off, sweater and shirt twisted together as you tossed them away, jeans rolled down your legs, and your bra clumsily unclasped. You stood and tucked your thumbs beneath your panties as you braced for the final layer.

“Ah…” He held his hand up. “I like em,” He admired the polka dot panties, “Keep em on for now.” He pushed his shoulder back and gripped his hips. “Well, where do you want me?”

You withheld a sigh and glanced around. The bed would be easiest. You were tired. You shrugged and pointed to the thin mattress atop the folding frame. “There,” You declared and he chuckled, “Sit.” Your voice was higher than usual. A betrayal of your reluctance.

“So safe,” He passed you and snapped the elastic of your panties, “You’re funny, girl.”

“Funny?” You watched him sit. He leaned back on his hands as his cock stood against his stomach.

“You...You’re so stubborn.” He snickered, “You cling to this naivety but we both know you’re not so clueless.” His eyes roved your body as poked his tongue through his teeth and thought. “I think you liked the little window game a lot more than me.”

You bit your cheek and said nothing. 

"You know that's why Ethan had to leave. He could see you needed more than him," Steve taunted. "Because it's easy enough to tell by the quiver in your thighs that you fucking liked it and even if you won't admit it, you want it."

"Stop," You hissed. "Please."

"Come on, you can't get enough when I've got you bent over--"

"I said stop. What do you want from me? Ethan's gone. My whole life has turned to shit." You snarled, "What do you want?"

"I want you to be honest," He said as he sat forward. "It would make all of this so much easier."

You shook your head and looked away. You walked over to him blindly. Your chest knotted and you turned to him. You placed your hands on your shoulders and stared him down. You gritted your teeth as you mustered the last of your resolve.

"It will never be easier," You said, "Not with  _you._ "

His smirk fell. His eyes turned dark and he leaned back so that your hands fell. He spread his legs wider and nodded to his cock. "Well, go on. Make me keep my mouth shut."

You gave a long blink. You hung your head and slowly got to your knees. He had already taken Ethan from you, he wouldn't take anything else. You ran your hands up his thighs and shifted closer. You dragged your fingers along his length; up and down, up and down. You gripped him and kept your motion easy. You circled his head and he groaned.

You could feel his unyielding gaze. You bent your head and opened your lips over the head of his cock. You kept your hand around him and brought him deeper and deeper. You repressed a gag as he poked the back of your throat and you pulled back. You worked your hand in tandem with your mouth. 

He rocked his hips up each time you took him. His cock was slick with your slobber and he pushed further into your throat. Your hand slipped and you struggled to breath around him. You held the base of his cock and worked him in and out as you fought not retch. He spread a hand across the back of your head and forced himself to his limit.

"Look at you," He purred, "Sucking my cock so dutifully…" He held you down. You slapped at his thigh and stomach, unable to draw breath around him. "Tell me you don't fucking like it."

Your eyes rolled back and your head throbbed. He let you go just as you were sure you would pass out. You pulled away and reeled onto your ass as you sputtered. He laughed and you touched your ragged throat. He slid back across the bed and reclined with his hands behind his head.

"I mean, you don't think you're done, do you?" He chided, "You haven't even made me cum."

You pushed yourself up to your feet shakily and neared the bed. You climbed up and the frame creaked dangerously. It barely held your weight, let alone his. He stared at your panties and you stood to slip them down your legs. He reached out and you handed them over as the shame nipped at your neck.

You stood on your knees as you straddled him and reached down to guide his cock. He was still wet with your spit. You slid him inside of you with a gasp and he moaned until he was at his limit. You winced as your walls strained against him. He was still too much. Every time hurt just as bad as the last.

"Well..." He kept one arm bent behind his head as his other squeezed your panties.

You slowly began to move your hips. He bared his teeth as you rocked and you tried to resist the knot as it tangled inside of you. You pressed your palms to his firm stomach as you kept your motion steady. Your legs ached from your effort, event at that pace.

He groaned impatiently and his blue eyes sparked. You sped up just a little and the knot tightened. You couldn't fight it. His cock filled you over and over as your clit rubbed against his pelvis. You shuddered and dug your nails into his skin and your breath hitched.

"Come on, you can do it," He said airily, "That's it, girl. I can see it." You closed your eyes and ground harder against him. You couldn't help but chase the release; a single second to forget your endless torment. Even with him. "You're gonna cum all over me, aren't you? I didn't say you could do that."

You tried to mute your delight and sneered. You couldn't help animalistic growl that rose as your peak grew closer. You bounced atop him madly; desperately. The metal frame whined. It wasn't him beneath you, you weren't in this shitty apartment, you weren't on top of this decrepit bed. You were somewhere else and you felt fucking wonderful.

"Look at you," He preened and your mouth formed an  _o_. You came suddenly and your hips bucked against him. "Oooh, you're cumming, you dirty fucking slut."

You grabbed onto his sides as you rode out your climax. Your head fell forward and your pelvis slowed until you were almost still. The tendrils swirled along your thighs and back. The afterglow embraced you and you fell forward, exhausted.

"Fuck," Steve swore and sat up.

He stayed inside of you as he flipped you onto your back. On his knees, he pushed as deep as he could go. You whimpered and the bed echoed your cry. It trembled beneath you dangerously. Steve stretched your panties out across your neck and held you down with them.

The thin cotton choked you as he pinned them beneath his thick hands. He pulled back and slammed back into you. You threw your arms up but he easily ignored you. You grabbed onto his thick biceps as he wove the panties beneath your neck and clasped them tight with one hand. He twisted the seams around two fingers as his other hand gripped your hip.

"Fuck," He growled as he began to thrust. The bed wobbled and you clawed at the blankets. "You fucking bitch, you think you can leave me hanging?"

He sped up and the bed shook. The metal groaned and your eyes rounded up at him. "St--" Your voice died as he twisted the panties tighter. "Th---" You could barely speak, "B--"

A snap and a crash and you were pinned entirely beneath Steve's body. He didn't miss a beat as the end of the bed fell apart. The mattress slid slightly down the slant of the frame. Steve fucked you as if he didn't even notice and your weight rested at the base of your neck. The panties strained around your throat as he rutted against you, your arms pinned beneath his thick torso.

"Look what you've fucking done, you slut," He snarled in your ear. "You like make a fucking mess." He hooked his fingers around your shoulder and delved even deeper. "You were just waiting for me up in that cabin, huh?" You turned your head away as it pounded. You could barely breathe past the cotton noose. "Back in that little hole you shared with him, huh? He fucked you but he couldn't get you off, could he? Not after me."

You squeaked at the sudden pluck inside. Your walls pulsed around him as his flesh slapped against yours loudly. The metal grinded into the floor beneath. You squeezed him between your legs as you came again and he nuzzled along your shoulder. 

"Again?" He bit down and sucked. You sputtered in pain.

He pulled away suddenly and held himself up with one arm as he lifted his pelvis and hammered back into you. His thrusts were decisive. Agonizing. He plunged into you completely and grunted. His cum soothed your aching walls. He wiggled his hips and slowly untangled his fingers from the panties.

He pulled out of you and the other side of the bed collapsed with a bang. He sat back with a booming laugh as he lifted the corner of the mattress. He looked at the bent frame and sighed. You tore the panties away from your neck and tossed them aside. 

He pushed himself to the edge of the bed and stood. He grabbed your elbow and led you up from the sagging mattress. He turned you to face him and his hands grazed along your arms and crept around to the back of your thighs. He lifted you at once and stood with you in the air. You exclaimed and clung to his shoulders. 

"Shit," He reached down to line his cock up with your entrance, "Looks like you won't be sleeping much."


	6. Get Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve makes his appearance at the reader’s family barbeque.
> 
> Warnings: noncon sex (oral, vaginal and anal intercourse, menstruation, violence), angst, rude words from a rude dude. This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. I mean it, I’m not gonna tell you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fucking rough. No exaggeration. I can actually not express her how fucking brutal this chapter turned out so please read the warning, re-read them, then read a third time. I mean it. This is some dark ass shit and I’m almost questioning myself at the moment.
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think as always. Love ya <3

You’d always dreaded your mother’s barbeques. They were crowded, noisy, and hectic. Not only with stuffy family members you avoided but strangers your mother knew from work or even just met in passing. She had a habit of seeking friendship in any who looked her way.

Your mother was at the top of your list of those to avoid. Since your break-up with Ethan, you had done your best to change the subject whenever it came up between you. You were sure Gia was also feeding her curiosity.

You didn’t have the energy to lie anymore and you certainly wouldn’t tell the truth. You prayed that Steve forgot your sister’s invitation. That you could show up, say hi, and scurry back home.

You woke up early that Sunday. Your mom texted you until you got up and assured her that you would be there. You needed to powder the lemon squares anyway. Those were your specialty; your mother insisted on them for every gathering.

You went to the kitchen in your long tee and pulled out the powdered sugar. You filled the sifter and began to shake it over the pan of squares you made the night before. You yawned and grabbed your lower back.

You had been relegated to sleeping on the thin mattress without its frame. It didn’t stop Steve. He returned in the days since its breakdown to terrorize you. You suspected he enjoyed the thought of you on the floor.

The door clicked and you glanced over as the lock slid open. You sighed as Steve entered. So much for hoping. You carried on your work as you covered the desert in sweet snow. The door closed behind him and he strode into the kitchen.

“You know, you do strike me as the baking type,” He remarked as he came up beside you. “Cute.”

You ignored him and kept your eyes on the pan. You were really not looking forward to going now.  _How would you explain him to your mother?_ Hell, you weren’t quite sure how Gia hadn’t seen past his poor disguise. You had but you’d also found him in his uniform. She had only seem the casual, easy-going Nick.

“Doesn’t start til noon,” You grumbled.

“Lots of time then,” His fingertips tickled your thigh just beneath the hem of the shirt.

“I’m on my rag,” You didn’t look at him as you set the sifter in the sink and tucked the sugar away in the cupboard.

“Hmmp. Explains the attitude but I don’t see how it’s relevant.” He leaned against the counter as you crossed your arms at him. “Do you think a little blood will stop me?”

You tilted your head. He wore a button up and pressed slacks. Polished leather shoes and a matching belt. He had dressed up for your mother’s little shindig.

“Nothing will.” You resigned.

“You’re right.” He pushed himself away from the counter and headed back through the door. “So, let’s make the most of our time.”

You rubbed your forehead and rinsed your hands. Keep him happy and he might not humiliate you entirely at the barbeque. You followed him as he carefully undressed in your living room. He draped his shirt over the chair, his slacks too, his socks tucked neatly into his shoes beneath. He was deliberate; basking in your obvious agitation.

“On your stomach,” He pointed to the couch.

You frowned as he pulled his briefs down. You huffed and tried to pass him. He caught you as he dropped his underwear on the chair.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting a towel,” You snapped. “You’ve ruined enough already.”

“Hurry up.” He let go and paced towards the couch.

You grabbed the towel you used the night before and whisked back into the room. As you neared him, he turned to rip it from your grasp. He spread it across the couch and stood back. He was hard and judging by the twitch in his jaw, impatient.

You lowered yourself onto the couch. You stretched out on your stomach, content to hide your face in your arms. Your head shot up as he slapped your ass.

He pulled your shirt up and yanked your panties down your legs. He flung them away from him, the pad still clung to the crotch. He climbed over you, his legs on either side of yours.

He pushed his cock down past your ass and to your entrance. He prodded at your pussy but didn’t go further. He ran his fingers along your back and you shivered.

He grabbed your arms just above your elbows and pushed inside. You exhaled into the cushion as he thrust slowly. His cock added to the fullness which had settled in your pelvis. Your hips ached as he moved against you.

He grunted as he fucked you. Usually he was more talkative. He forced your back to arch painfully and you groaned. The room was filled with the sounds of his flesh against yours. He got faster and faster. His pelvis crashed against yours and sent ripples up your spine.

He let go of your right arm and slapped your ass as he sped up again. He kneaded the flesh as his hips stuttered and you held yourself up on one elbow. “Dont–” You choked on your voice was he came. Fuck. You were already a mess, you didn’t need more of one.

“What?” He eased himself to a stop and grabbed the back of your head. He shoved it into the cushion and pusher deeper until you whined. “Were you trying to say something?”

“N-no,” You rasped. “Nothing…”

He released you and pulled out of you roughly. He tugged free a corner of the towel from beneath you and wiped himself off. You sat up and felt the flow of semen and blood spill onto the towel. “You should get cleaned up,” He turned away and wandered casually towards your bathroom. “You do like to play the innocent, don’t you?”

You heard the smirk in his voice. You grabbed the towel and stood. You followed reluctantly. The shower trembled and burst into life. You tossed the towel in the hamper and grabbed a fresh one. Another for him.

You sighed. You should let him air dry. You plopped the towels on the closed toilet and looked up at the shower curtain. Steve’s broad figure was just visible through the foggy plastic.

You pulled your tee over your head and tossed it on the floor. You stepped into the shower behind him, the smell of your lavender body soap tickled your nose. Great, hopefully nobody noticed his flowery scent.

He scrubbed his hair with your shampoo and you did your best to catch some of the stream. You tried to wash him away but somehow, you could never quite remove the taint of his touch. He switched with you wordlessly as you lathered soap on your skin. His hands trailed through the bubbles on your back and he poked you with his erection. He never took long.

You wetted your hair as his fingers crawled along your hips. He hummed as his cock slid along your ass. You froze and closed your eyes. Waiting. He drew his hands away and the shower curtain chimed as he pulled it back.

“Later,” He promised. “Get cleaned up.” He closed the curtain behind him. “I can’t wait to meet the family.”

Your heart stopped. At least it felt like it did.  _Fuck_. It was bad enough that he had endeared himself to Gia, she was an easy mark, but you couldn’t imagine what your mom would think when you showed up with a new man. Well, you hadn’t invited him. You’d make that very clear.

You gulped and squirted some shampoo into your hand. Distract her with the lemon squares, she might not even notice the bearded goon following you like a shadow.

-

You were quiet as Steve drove. You should’ve figured he had a car but you really hadn’t put too much thought to his activities outside of hounding you. You balanced the lemon squares on your lap and stared out the window. You gave him directions when needed but your mind was already at your destination.

Your mom’s street was lined with cards. You walked half a block between the car and her house. You could hear the buzz of voices in the backyard. You led Steve around the side as he looked over the house. The gate was unlocked to welcome guests and your dad was already warming up the barbeque.

Your mother appeared at the back door and sighted you from across the yard. She smiled and came down the steps. As she wove through the other guests, her eyes landed on Steve and her brows shot up. She greeted you with a one armed hug as you avoided smushing the pan against her middle. She took the lemon squares from you as she let go.

“Honey!” She preened, “You’re here. A little late, but here.” She peeked at Steve, “And who is this?”

“Nick,” Steve offered his hand. You looked over your mom’s shoulder as Gia made her way towards you.  _Shit._

“A friend,” You filled in grimly. “Gia invited him.”

You sister appeared at the mention of her name. She was pressed and plucked perfectly. She smiled at Steve and trilled her hello.

“I gather your guy is here,” You commented on her flowery dress. “So…”

“He’s in the bathroom,” She returned. “And you actually brought a friend.”

“I didn’t exactly ask him along,” You mumbled.

“Sorry, Nick, I promise our family is not usually this hostile,” Your mother chimed before she looked to you and Gia. “Girls.”

“Siblings,” He chuckled coolly. “I don’t mind.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I steal my daughter for a moment,” Your mom replied. “I promise I’ll have her back quickly.”

“Not at all,” He shrugged. “It looks like a lively party. I’m sure I can manage.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Gia assured, “Ben should be back soon.” She turned to Steve and batted her lashes. “You two will get along.”

You sighed quietly and reluctantly let your mother lead you away from them. You hated how easily your sister got on with him. How smoothly he put his mask on and fooled others. Your mother took you inside and set down the pan on the counter. She turned back to you, still smiling.

“I figured you could cut the squares,” She said, “And tell me about this Nick.”

“Mom,” You brushed by her and took a knife from the block. You removed the lid from the squares and set to carving lines through them. “He just lives down the hall. That’s all.”

“He’s cute…” She sang, “And after Ethan and you split so suddenly–”

“I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” You interrupted her. “Nick is just…someone I know. He wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Gia’s big mouth.”

“So, when do I get to see this new place of yours,” Your mother smoothly deflected your irritation.

“Whenever you want, mom,” You shrugged. “Not much to see. A lot smaller than our–my old one.”

“Gia did say that. Honey, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” You assured her. “I’m sorry, it’s just…if everyone could stop bringing up Ethan I’d be a lot better. It’s bad enough that I’m here with–”

The look on your mother’s face was frightening. Her smile was gone and her eyes were wide. Your ears tingled and you sensed a shift in the air. A familiar voice rose and drifted through the window. The sound of gasps and ‘oohs’ were soon to follow.

“Oh, mom, you didn’t,” You dropped the knife and headed for the door.

“Gia didn’t say you were bringing this Nick guy, I thought you two could talk…”

She followed as you swept through the backdoor to find the two men standing chest to chest in the midst of the crowd. Steve had a few inches on Ethan and was almost twice as wide. Gia was holding back your ex as the super soldier grinned with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You son of a bitch,” Ethan snarled as Gia fought against him. “What is he doing here?”

“What are _you_  doing here?” You stormed down the steps towards him. “You said you didn’t want to talk.”

“I didn’t, but I thought–” His eyes flashed as you neared. “I didn’t think you’d be bringing him along.”

“Ethan, why did you come?” You kept your voice low. “It’s over.”

“Sure as fuck it’s over.” He pushed Gia away and Steve laughed. You stepped between them before Ethan could raise his fist. “I just thought maybe we didn’t have to leave this the way it is.” He looked around and gritted his jaw. “You’re a fucking slut.” He backed away slowly and looked to your mother. “You hear that? You’re daughter is a cheating bitch.”

“Son,” Your dad appeared, spatula in hand at Ethan’s side. “I think it’s time you go.”

Ethan glared at your dad and Steve dropped his arms. He squared his shoulders as he came up beside you. Ethan sputtered and looked around at his audience. “Fuck all of you.” He turned and stomped out the gate as you watched. Your eyes stung and you sniffed back the tears that threatened.

You glanced around at the guests who were still in shock over the scene. You turned and marched past your mom and back up the steps. She trailed you into the kitchen and you picked your knife up and continued to cut the squares. Silently.

“Honey…” Her voice was pitiful.

“I didn’t–” You shook your head and swallowed your words. You finished with the lemon squares and pulled out a plate to serve them on. The screen door flapped opened and closed and you looked up as Gia entered.

“So…” She came up on the other side of the counter. “What was that about?”

“Leave it, Gia,” You grumbled as you focused on the dessert.

She crossed her arms and leaned against the island. She chewed her lip as she watched you. “Did you…?”

You looked up at her and your lip trembled. “Please, don’t even ask me that.”

“Well, that was…intense. What am I supposed to say?”

“Ethan’s bitter. That’s all.”

“And you and Nick? You never…” Her voice trailed off as you dusted off your hands and rinsed them. You couldn’t look at her. That was all the answer she needed. “When you were still with Ethan?”

“I fucked everything up, okay?” You turned and barked at her. Your mother watched in stunned silence. Her face painted with judgment. The same revulsion you felt for yourself. “I did it. I made my own fucking mistakes and they are none of your business.” You huffed. “Leave Nick alone. Leave me alone. It’s better off you don’t get yourself involved.”

You turned and headed for the door. Your mom was quick to block you, her arm across the screen. “Honey, you can’t just run away?”

“I know I can’t run,” You said. “But I can’t stay here. Not after that.” You looked over your shoulder as you grabbed the screen door. “I told you not to invite him.”

You pushed past your mom and tramped down the steps. Steve was stood with some man you’d never seen. Dark hair, graying dark suit; it must’ve been Ben. You came up beside Steve and touched his elbow. He looked down at you and smirked.

“We’re leaving,” You said.

“What?” He blinked. His blue eyes narrowed at your order.

“My mom wants us gone,” You lied. “I think we’ve caused enough drama. Drawn enough attention.”

He thought and nodded. “Suppose you’re right,” He turned to Ben and excused himself. “Nice to meet ya.” He grabbed your elbow and cleared his throat. He ushered you to the gate and you were thankful at least to be leaving. “It’s a shame. I was really looking forward to trying one of those squares.”

You kept quiet as he squeezed your arm and dragged you down the street.

“It was nice seeing Ethan again, wasn’t it?” He boasted. “Should’ve broke that jaw of his and maybe he’d have shut the fuck up.”

“Steve,” You croaked. “Please.”

“Fuck,” He shoved you into the side of the car and you stumbled. You turned and he was on you in an instant. His body held you flush against the hot metal. “You’re still in love with him?”

“Of course I am,” You spat. “You–you ruined everything. I was happy.”

You shook as you glared up at him.

“You were complacent. You had a boring life before me. Nothing before _me_.”

“I hate you,” You sneered.

The crack stunned you. Almost as much as it stunned him. Your hand flew up across his cheek before you could stop it. His head moved just a little and he grabbed your wrist before you could lower it. His blue eyes were fiery.

“Oh-ho-ho,” He smiled; a dangerous smile. “There we go. I’ve been waiting for that.” His other hand came up around your neck as he bent down. “Get in the fucking car,” He whispered and squeezed. “Now.”

He let go and backed away. You gulped as you stared up at him. Your heart raced and your entire body was on fire. You trembled as you pushed yourself away from the car and stumbled around to the other side. His door slammed as he got in and you shut yours softly. You gripped your knees as he turned the engine.

“You’re in it now, bitch,” He growled as he pulled out.

The locks clicked and you watched the houses pass in a blur.  _Shit._

-

Steve drove up to your building. He stopped in front and before he could kill the engine, you had your seatbelt undone and the door unlocked. You shoved the door open and bolted out. You fled done the sidewalk without an endpoint in sight. You just wanted to be away.

You heard him behind you. The slam of his door and his shoes keeping time with yours. You were out of breath before you reached the corner and he kicked your legs out from under you. You flew forward and scraped your palms and arms on the pavement with a yelp.

He planted his feet on either side of you and pulled you with a hand on your neck and the other on your arm. He lifted you as if you weighed nothing. To him, you were nothing.

“I’ll scream,” You tried to pull away from him as he turned you back down the street.

“Then scream,” He kept his hand on your arm as he walked you beside him. “I don’t give a fuck.” He marched you along the walk and kicked closed the car door as he passed. He dragged you up to the door of your building, your shoes slid across the pavement helplessly. “I should’ve showed everyone what a whore you were back at your parents, eh? You’d be begging for it just like you did in front of Ethan.”

“Stop!” You twisted and he slammed your back into the door. The force knocked the wind from you as he glared down at you.

“You know why I won’t leave you alone?” He pinned you against the door. “Because every time I come, you’re that much closer to breaking and when you do, I’m gonna love every second of it.”

You blanched. You tried to shove him away and he easily caught your arms. He turned you around and reached into your pocket. He took your keys and shoved them in the slot. He wrenched the door open and pushed you through. You stumbled as he slapped your ass and barked for you to go.

You fought him as you ascended the stairs. You hit every wall as he forced you up. If any stumbled upon the struggle, you suspected he’d be no less brutish with them. When you reached your floor, you planted your feet and he kicked your rear. You fell to your knees and he grabbed the back of your blouse. 

He dragged you down the worn carpet and to your door. He swiftly opened your door and tossed you inside. You hit the wall just next to the kitchen doorway and slid back down to your knees. The lock slid into place as his breaths grew louder in his anger.

A subtle jingle sounded from behind you and he grabbed your shoulder as you tried to stand. He forced you down onto your stomach and straddled you between his thick legs. He held your wrists behind you as he tore loose his belt. He wrapped the leather around your wrists and pulled it so tight, your fingers throbbed.

He smacked the back of your head as he stood. He toed your side and paced around you in the small space and lifted you to your feet. You tried to kick out and he deflected your leg with his. He grabbed your neck and held you against the wall.

“You wanna play that game?” He slapped your cheek with his other hand. The sting burned your cheek and he did it again. Harder. You clenched your jaw as he hit you over and over, every strike meaner than the last. “Let’s play.”

He ripped you away from the wall and shoved you ahead of him. You dug your heels into the floor and he sighed. He smacked your ass so hard you stumbled and he caught the back of your pants before you could topple. He dragged you into the bedroom and pushed you so that you fell face first onto the mattress.

“Stay,” He rested his shoe between your shoulder blades and pushed until you could breath.

“Fuck you!” You lifted your head and looked back at him. “I fucking hate you.”

“I know you do,” He removed his foot and slid his phone out of his pocket. “But it won’t look that way, will it?” He moved his thumb around his screen and set the phone sideways on your bookcase. “I send this little video to Ethan and he might just be stupid enough to share it.”

You dropped your head against the mattress and grunted as you pulled against the belt. You heard him moving around, the floor creaked beneath his weight, and you swore into the blanket. He was going to take everything from you, even your family.  _No_ , he wouldn’t get that.  _Never._

Your whole body jolted as he tore your pants down in one motion. Your panties and flats were swept away with the pressed fabric. You were left bare and face down. He knelt on the mattress next to you and flipped your over. He ripped your blouse down the middle and snapped your bra. He tweaked your nipples painfully as you tried to roll away.

He slapped your cheek again, this time with the back of his hand. His knuckles left your cheekbone tender. You tried to sit up and he pushed you back down easily. He was completely naked. He climbed over you so that his thighs were around your head and pressed his cock against your lips.

“Open up,” He squeezed your chin. “Come on. Don’t make me break that pretty little face of yours.”

You opened your mouth and he was quick to slip inside. You gagged and spasmed as he invaded your throat. You couldn’t breath as he sank his entire length into you. He leaned on his knees and began to thrust. He grasped your hair between his fingers as he fucked your face.

“He was fucking right. You are a slut,” He panted as he sped up. Faster and faster until stars spotted your vision. “You’re probably wet already.”

His grunts filled your head as your eyes rolled back. He never wavered, even as you were certain you would pass out. He bent over you and pushed his cock as deep as it could go and you felt the sickly heat burst in your throat. He snarled as he came and you were forced to swallow or choke.

You coughed as he pulled out of your mouth. Your head lolled and he slapped you again. Three times before your eyes opened. “We’re not even close to done,” He turned you over again and struck your ass. You whined and he spanked you until your ass was raw.

“Fucking dirty,” He said as he shoved his hand between your legs.

You could feel the blood and your unwilling arousal spread along his fingers. He pushed your legs apart and grabbed the back of your neck. He lined himself up and entered you smoothly. You groaned against the mattress and he plunged to his limit.

His hand slipped down to the belt and he pulled on your wrists as he began to move. His hips slammed against your ass. You rasped into the blanket as your body racked beneath his. Each thrust was painful. A reminder that he was in control. That every fight would end this way.

He kneaded your ass with his other hand as he crushed you into the bed. You could feel the floor through the thin cushion. His thumb slipped down and he circled around your asshole. You shook your head but before you could protest, he forced his finger inside.

You whimpered at the strain in your ass he pulled his thumb in and out roughly in time with his cock. It sent a peculiar ripple through your body; added to the strokes of his cock against your walls. You trembled at the sudden flurry of nerves in your pelvis.

“See, you fucking like it,” He hissed. “You can fight me all you want, but you’ll never win.” His words were punctuated by harsh breaths and you body spasmed suddenly. “Uh-uh-uh, look at you. You’re cumming already.” He pounded into harder and kept his thumb inside you. “You like it in the ass, don’t you?”

He removed his thumb and bent over you. He thrust you into the mattress and turned your head. He held your chin in place as his hot breath singed your cheek, his lips pressed to your skin.

“Hmm? You want me dick in your ass?” He growled.

“N-n-”

His palm smothered your protest and he pulled out of you. He slid his cock back along your ass and you wiggled beneath him. You tried to bite his hand but he merely pressed it tighter. He reached down to pushed himself against your tight hole and you cried out into his hand.

Your eyes went wide as he shoved himself inside. He groaned in delight as he entered you slowly. Tears rose in your vision and your entire body buzzed with pain as he forced his way in. You kicked your legs against his as he impaled you completely.

He moved carefully. Savoured the stretch of you around him. You went limp as the pain was too much. He uncovered your mouth and rested his forehead against your temple. He shoved his hand beneath you and squeezed your tit as his hips rocked against you.

“You’re a fucking mess,” He whispered. “I can feel your blood all over me.”

His pace picked up a little at a time. You closed your eyes in shame. You bit down as the agony tore through you. Your voice rose as his hips jerked into you harder and harder. You whined in pain as he fucked your ass without restraint.

He pushed himself up, his hand on your shoulders as he chased his climax. His grunts were sultry and hypnotic against the shrill anguish of your own. He grabbed the back of your head and shoved it into the mattress as his thrusts grew uneven. He roared as he came and rode out his high.

You were left shaking beneath him as he sat back on his knees. He stayed inside of you and his cock twitched. You tried to wriggle away but it only added to the strain. His fingers wrapped around your waist and he began to move again.

You bit your lip and held your breath as it started again. The shock, the pain, the humiliation. You would not break. Not for him. He would not win. You wouldn’t let him. The great Captain America had lost before and he could again.


	7. Damage Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tries to figure Steve out.
> 
> Warnings: nonconsensual sex (oral, vaginal and anal intercourse, violence), angst, general assholery. 
> 
> This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. I mean it, I’m not gonna tell you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter than usual chapters in this series but we get the plot moving towards the end and we’re getting so close y’all. So I hope you enjoy this installment. I might not get to post much this weekend or whatever because I have a lot of ish coming up so thank you for reading and for your patience.
> 
> Anyways, hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think as always. Love ya <3

 

It was almost a week since the barbecue. Steve had yet to return for another night of torment. It was almost concerning. Before, he dropped in almost every other day to relish in your suffering. You wondered what kept him, not that you longed for his return. You even hoped, by some chance, that the world’s greatest fugitive had been caught. 

_Well, you’d know if that happened. Everyone would._

You splendoured in the daydream as you sat at your desk. After what he’d done, you only wanted one thing. More than just him gone, you wanted him dead. He had taken more than just Ethan, now he’d turned your own family against you. You hadn’t spoke to Gia or your mother since Sunday. It was too humiliating.

You thought of the headlines; the new reels. Captain America in cuffs, the man’s arrogant blue eyes averted in defeat. You smiled and played with your pen. That would be sweet... _if only._

_But why not?_ He was still the most wanted man in the world. Hunted by more than just his former comrades. Steve Rogers had made many enemies in this world. You sat up and your chair squeaked. You glanced around at the office as if another would see your thoughts.  _Was it possible to bring down the former Avenger?_ Not on your own, of course, but maybe there were others who could help.

In all this, you’d forgotten that this man was not supposed to be in your life. He was supposed to be in prison. He belonged there. He’d earned it since his exile. Yet, even if you ridded yourself of his oppression, you’d never get back what you lost. What he’d taken from you. But perhaps you could keep him from taking even more.

You slid your chair closer to your desk and minimized your task center. You opened the browser and peeked around again. You swallowed and typed into the search bar. News stories from months ago popped up. The search for Steve Rogers was still in effect but no sightings reported. You scrolled past the hashtags and image results and clicked on the first link.

Stark Industries. Iron Man himself was leading the manhunt for his former ally. The newly repentant superhero eager to atone for the collateral damage of his heroic acts. You tapped your finger on the mouse and read. If you did this, there was no turning back. If you did, it all became deadly.

_Well, what was life when it was like this?_

You scribbled the number on a post-it and cleared your history. You closed the window and turned your headset on. The first call was easy; second-nature. But with each minute you became more distracted by the pad. The nerves fluttered in your stomach and made you nauseous. 

_What would you say? What could you say?_ Steve Rogers ruined my life.  _Oh, and I’ve been fucking him. Well...it’s complicated_. You finished your sixth call of the day and excused yourself to the bathroom. You tucked the small paper up your sleeve with your cell in the other. You locked yourself in a stall and shakily dialed the numbers, hesitation as you hovered over the call button.

The line picked up and you blurted out the words clumsily. "I know where to find Steve Rogers."

-

When you got home that night, he was there. You didn't acknowledge him as you set your purse on the table and kicked your shoes off. You didn't even look at him; his presence a speck in the corner of your eye.

He was stretched across your couch, his feet propped up on one arm and his head against the other, arms up and bent behind it. You went about your after work routine. 

You changed out of your stiff pants and blouse and pulled on a pair of sweats and a loose tee. You doubted you'd keep them long. When you reentered the living room, he turned his head to watch you. His hand slipped down to rub his crotch. His jeans bulged with his anticipation.

You cringed and he reached out to you. "Come here."

You stared at him. You slowly walked over to the couch. He pressed his hand against your thigh and snaked it around to grab your ass as he drew you closer. He squeezed and you flinched.

"Still sore?" He asked. You didn't respond. "Don't push me now."

"No." You answered. He didn't need to know that you were still tender every time you sat down. That he had fucked you so hard that you didn't get off the mattress until your alarm for work. He didn't need to know you had cried in the shower too.

He smirked. "Good." 

He tapped your ass and pulled his hand back to his jeans. He lifted his ass as he undid his fly and pushed his pants down. His cock sprang forth and he fell back with a sigh. "Hmmm," He eyed you as he gripped his cock and reached to you with his other hand.

"I'm trying to decide…" He picked at the elastic of your sweats. "Pussy, I think." He poked your vee with two fingers and wiggled his cock. "Right, come one before I change my mind."

You clamped your lips shut as you shed your sweats. You hooked your leg over him and he grabbed your hip as he guided you into place. He aligned himself and pulled you down. It hurt as he entered you. You were dry and tight. He groaned as you strained against him until he finally bottomed out.

"Fuck," He hissed and held you down. He pressed his thumb to your clit and rubbed. "What's the matter, hmm? You miss me?"

You bit down and stared behind him. You couldn't look at him as the tingle began to bloom beneath his touch. Your thighs clenched around him and you let out a deep breath. He moved his hand back to your hip and guided you.

He rocked you slowly as your arousal spread. The noise of your wetness repulsed you but fed your body. You slid up and down his cock faster and faster. He grabbed your ass and kneaded it painfully before drawing his hands back behind his head.

"Keep fucking me," He smirked as you slowed.

You gripped your thighs and kept your hips moving. His eyes were on your pussy. He delighted in the sight of him inside you. You panted and puffed as you rode him, wishing for it to be over even though you knew once was never enough.

"Come on," He grabbed your hips suddenly and brought you down as hard as he could. He lifted you and slammed you back so that he hit his limit each time. It was painful and yet it sent ripples along your spine. "I see it. You're gonna cum. Go on."

You shuddered and wrapped your fingers around his wrists as you tried to slow. He kept you in motion, your flesh slapping against his loudly. Your muffled moans broke loose and you tossed your head back and whined. 

You squeezed his wrists as you orgasmed and your body shook wildly. Even as you descended from your high, he didn't quit. He fucked you harder, used your body without a care. Even as he grunted and came, he didn't stop. Not until your thighs were sticky with cum.

He eased you down and stayed inside you. His hands fell and lingered on your thighs. He reached up to tweak your nipple and chuckled at your flinch.

"When I was away, I watched our little video." He grinned. "Very hot."

You hung your head in shame but said nothing.

"I was just visiting a friend but fuck the time dragged by. Thinking about that ass. About those stubborn little frowns, the way you snarl when you know you're going to cum even when you don't want to."

You tried to push yourself off him but he held you there.

"Uh-uh," He warned as his fingers spread across your thighs. "You can't run away now, girl. You can deny it all you want but we both know you fucking love this." He tilted his hips and poked your cervix painfully. "Ethan knew it too."

"I told you not to talk about him." You growled.

He slapped you. Hard. He gripped your throat and threatened to squeeze tighter. "And you don't make the fucking rules here. Goddamn, you're a stubborn bitch."

"And you're an asshole," You rasped.

He chuckled darkly and let go of you only to smack you again. You batted away his hand and he caught your wrists. 

"You're fucking fiesty today." Your nostrils flared and you tried to pull away. He barely noticed your struggle. "Fuck, you really want me to send our little romp to the boy? Think he'll watch it all the way through? Or you think he'll cry like he did before?"

You stopped and stared at him. Disgust, hatred, despair. You closed your eyes and sighed. He let go as your strength drained from you. All your anger slaked away and you were left weak and pliant. He always won.

"Now be a good girl and clean me up," He patted your thigh and waited. 

You climbed off of him. More cum seeped down your thighs and his cock twitched. He was growing hard again. His length shone with your juices and you shuddered as you turned to him. 

You took his cock and bent over him, trying to hide your face as your lips met his tip. He stiffened as you opened your mouth around him. His fingers tickled your side as he hit the back of your throat. 

He hummed and you forced yourself to take all of him, almost gagging as he slid down your throat. Your entire body tensed and you drew back. His fingers danced along your skin and you pushed yourself back down.

"Don't stop till I cum... don't leave a mess now." 

You almost choked at his words. You hated the control he had over you, the way you so eagerly bent to him. You used your hand in tandem with your mouth, your jaw ached and your throat burned. You gulped and gasped as his fingers sank into your waist and he groaned.

His other hand went to the back of your head and he guided you faster. Your spit dripped down his cock and around your fingers. You struggled to breathe but kept going. _Just be done, just be done._

He came with a sudden spasm. He sounded surprised and he pushed your head until he was down your throat entirely. You slapped at his stomach as you fought to swallow around his cock. His cum slid down painfully and he let you go only as tears pricked at your eyes.

You pulled back and stood. You touched your throat and coughed. You wiped your lips as you panted and your head spun dangerously. You were so dizzy you almost stumbled. Steve caught your hand and kept you from backing away.

He sat up and turned his legs over the edge of the couch. He released you and rubbed his thick thighs with a smirk. “Turn around.” 

You turned your back to him. You shook your head, thankful you could hide your grimace. He grabbed your hips and forced you back, nearly taking you off your feet. You bent your legs as they hit his and he brought you down into his lap. You hovered over him as he lined himself up with your ass. You planted your hands on his thighs and pushed but he didn’t relent.

“Just relax, it’ll be easier,” He pulled you down until his head slipped inside. It was just as painful as last time. You whimpered and he pushed further. “Fuck.” He swore as he sank into you. “You’re still fucking tight. Shit.”

You strained around him and whined. It hurt terribly. You still felt the pain of the last time. His hands snaked down your hips and over your thighs. He hooked his fingers beneath your legs and brought them up so that they were bent almost flush to your chest. He leaned back and lifted you easily.

He slid in and out as he thrust below you. Slow at first. Testing you. Relishing your feeble cries. You were helpless in his grasp as he rocked his hips into you. Helpless to the peculiar waves that began to build and build. The pain faded as it had before and you were stunned by the new sensation. The intense and overwhelming cluster of pleasure.

He sped up until he was slamming into you mercilessly. His breath was hot against your scalp and he worked below you. Your hands were on his as he folded you in half, your body bounced against his. 

“Steve…” You gasped. “Please...st-stop…”

“Stop?” He purred in your ear. “Why?”

“Please…” You were in a haze. You’d never felt this much pleasure at once and it scared you. It scared you that this man you hated so much always found a way to dissemble you entirely. “Sto--” Your breath rushed out and you were left speechless as your eyes rolled back. You quivered as you leaned your head forward and your orgasm constricted every inch of you. “Oh, oh, Steve. Steve…” He didn’t waver as your moans turned to sheer ecstasy, “Yesssss. Oh my god!”

You yelped as you were suddenly turned and he pushed you down onto the couch cushion. He stayed inside of you as he crushed you beneath him. Your legs were trapped under you as he pounded into you, a hand on your shoulder and another on your head as he pinned you down. 

“Yeah, you like that, don’t you?” He snarled. “You fucking slut.”

He rutted into you as his breath hitched and the entire couch shook beneath you. You clawed the cushion as another wave washed over you. You came again, your voice trapped in the couch as he held you down. He slowed but his thrusts were just as hard. Measured and sharp as he came with long growl.

He shuddered and stopped entirely. Your body spasmed as it buzzed in the afterglow. You plummeted back down as he pulled out of you and the couch shifted with his weight as he fell back. Slowly, you pushed your legs out from beneath you and kept your face hidden against the cushion. He slapped your ass and you squeaked.

“Don’t let me go soft now, girl.” He chuckled and your stomach turned. You opened your eyes and sat up shakily.

_It wouldn’t last forever. Just a little longer._

-

He didn’t leave. You sat and stared at the super soldier, his bare ass to the wind as he snored on your couch. You expected him to go as he always did, but he didn’t. When he finished with his desecration, he’d let you go and you’d gone to get your robe and hide the bruises and fingerprints that marked your skin. When you returned, he was asleep.

You waited an hour. He still didn’t wake. You frowned and retreated to the bathroom. You kept the door open and stared at him as you twisted the faucet. He was still there. You showered, sore and achy as the heat sank into your bones, and you emerged to find he remained. 

_What was his game?_

You tiptoed to your purse on the table and pulled out your phone. You gulped as he turned over. His hand fell to the floor and you were unsurprised to find him erect. In his sleep, he was insatiable. He snored even louder as he rolled onto his back. 

You unlocked your phone and opened your camera. Your heart raced as you watched him. Oddly peaceful despite his depravity. You neared him quietly and angled the lense to his face. You steadied your hand and snapped the picture. You quickly retreated and hid the phone behind you as if he would awake at the silent shutter.

He still did not rouse. You licked your dry lips and scurried to your bedroom. You sat on the edge of the mattress, a shiver ran through you as your towel threatened to fall away. You quickly typed in the address and opened the page. You scrolled past the phone number and clicked on the email. 

_Submit your tips to our online support to aid in the hunt for dangerous fugitives._

You sighed and clicked again. Your phone call had been less than successful. It was hard to believe a woman from a small city in a different country had actually found the Captain America. They took your tip but sounded less than convinced and you doubted the phone call they promised in return would come. This would seal it thought. This was your smoking gun.

You attached the file and wrote out your claim. The same thing you’d told the operator.  _I know where to find Steve Rogers._  You added your name and your phone number. You hoped this wasn’t some strawman helpline. Hoped it wasn’t some shell set up by Stark to keep his name pristine. You hit send and sighed.

You cleared your history and deleted the photo. You set your phone aside and stood to pull on a night shirt and hung your towel in the bathroom. His snores were almost comforting. He was asleep; harmless. 

A thought flashed in your mind. You looked at him from the doorway. You could do it. Take care of it yourself. But if he woke, you’d be dead. The whisper faded and you went back to your room. 

You laid down and let out a whimper. Your body hurt. You pulled the blanket over you and buried your head in the pillow. Sleep was unlikely but you just needed to rest. To try to forget.

-

You couldn’t recall falling asleep. It was late though and your head pounded as you came back to the surface. There was a weight across your middle. You were on your back, your shoulders cramped and your neck sore. It was an arm; his arm. Steve laid beside you, snoring as he had the night before on your couch.

You sat up suddenly. Recoiled from his touch. He growled and rolled over. He grumbled as he woke and his blue eyes found you. 

“Fucking Christ,” He swore. “What the fuck?”

“What are you doing?” You hissed. “Go.”

“I’m trying to fucking sleep.” He rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Couch was too small.”

“Mmhmm,” You muttered doubtfully. “Well, I gotta work.”

You stood carefully. You gripped your back as it twinged and you gritted your teeth. You felt like shit, probably looked like it too. He draped his arm over your side of the mattress and you saw the twitch beneath the blankets. You turned away and slid open your closet.

“Call in.” He said. You froze and glanced over your shoulder. “Come on. You’re tired and...you’ve got work to do here.”

You shook your head and pulled out a pair of pants. “I can’t just call in. I need to pay my rent, my bills, buy groceries.”

“I said call in,” He barked as he pushed the blankets down. He cock stood and he stroked it with a sigh. “You’ve got two minutes.”

You hugged and tossed the pants on the floor. You snatched your phone from the night table and stormed out of the room as he continued to play with himself. You stopped dead as you saw the notification that bubbled up on your screen. 

_Stark Industries. Re: Fugitive Report. [Urgent]._

You quickly swiped away the alert and dialed your work number. As the line connected your mind raced. You’d have to wait until he left.  _What if he didn’t?_ Well, he had to go eventually, he always did. 

The other end picked up and you cleared your throat. “Hey, Donna, yeah it’s me, I can’t make it in, I’ve been sick all night. Yeah, yeah, I think it might be contagious. Okay, yeah, thanks.” 

You hung up and locked your phone. You turned and stared at your bedroom door.  _Could you really take on Steve Rogers?_


	8. Subterfuge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader makes her move.
> 
> Warnings: nonconsensual sex (vaginal ntercourse, violence), angst, general assholery.
> 
> This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. I mean it, I’m not gonna tell you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this is the final part of this series and I’m shocked that I’ve finished it bc I was struggling boo. But here ya go. I hope you all are ready and I dunno if you’ll like it, but this is the end.
> 
> Anyways, let me know what you think as always with a comment <3

You watched your mother as she set the casserole dish in the middle of the table. She hadn’t said much to you since your arrival. She avoided it as she distracted herself with the family dinner. Your sister sat across from you, she meant to say something but had yet to find the gull. 

Your father was the only who was unfazed by your presence. Never the talkative type, he at least looked away from his book for more than two seconds to acknowledge you. He greeted you with a hug and asked after your day. 

The tension of thoughts unspoken kept you silent too. You waited at the table and resisted the habitual urge to take your phone out. That would only be a reminder. Of how terribly everything could go. Your last hope were the texts you quickly erased upon reading. The emails deleted within minutes of receiving them.

Tony Stark had a plan and it all hinged on you. And Steve. Agents were in place to descend on your apartment the moment you sent the code word but their target had been absent for almost five days. Just like his presence, it made you anxious. He had been away for longer before. You should be relieved to be free of him, but you knew it was only temporary.

Your mother served everyone before she sat. You twirled your fork but even the savoury aroma of her family recipe couldn’t rile your appetite. You may not know when Steve would show up next, but you knew the end was imminent. All you had to do was send the word. One word and he was done.

“So, honey,” Your mother’s voice was hesitant. “How have you been?”

“Working,” You replied. “You know, the same old.”

The sound of cutlery against the plates filled the silence that followed. 

“And how’s Nick?” Gia asked suddenly. You looked up to her grin and narrowed your eyes.

“I wouldn’t know,” You said. 

“Gia,” Your mom warned.

“Oh come on, the last time we saw her, her ex was tryna fight her new boytoy.” Gia trilled. “Our family can be dramatic but that was–”

“He’s not–Nick is just…Nick.” You interjected. “Jesus, I came here to be with all of you and you’re treating me like some…pariah. Should I have worn a scarlet letter for our dinner?”

“We’re worried,” Your mother intoned. “We don’t know this Nick very well and after what happened with Ethan–”

“Ethan hates me. He has every right to.” You snarled. “What do you want me to say? He was right, I’m a slut.”

“Language,” Your mother reproached.

“I’m an adult! I’ll use whatever language suited to the situation.” You dropped your fork and crossed your arms. “Why aren’t you saying anything to Gia as she dates a man nearly two decades older than her, hmm?”

“We love you, we just want to make sure you’re okay,” Your mother protested.

“Then leave her alone,” Your father spoke up as he swallowed a mouthful of casserole. “Pete’s sake, she’s told you a dozen times. Let her make her own mistakes. Judgin’ her’s not gonna do her any favours.”

You blinked and looked to your dad as he leaned back in his chair. 

“This Nick boy causes any trouble, I’ll deal with him myself.” He shook his head. “Just like I dealt with Ethan.”

“What?” You lifted a brow. “What does that mean?”

“I had a talk with him after the barbecue. Told him to leave you alone. He’s angry. Hurt. But I told him it’s no sense hounding you and making you both more miserable than you already are.” He sighed. “It will pass. All of it.” He looked to your mother pointedly. “So let it pass and be nice.”

You mother sniffed and stared at the table. Gia glared at you over her plate and you tapped your fingers along the wood. You nodded and slowly stood.

“I’m not hungry.” You said. “Besides, I didn’t come here to eat. I came here to spend time with you. I thought, stupidly, that we could be friendly.” You stepped out from between the chair and table. “I love you. All of you. I just think I need some time.”

“Honey,” Your mother stood, “Please–”

“I’ve got work tomorrow,” You neared her and forced your arms around her. “I’ll see you.” 

You let go of her and patted your sister’s arm as she sulked in her chair. Your father stood and hugged you in turn. He clung to you a moment before he held you at arm’s length. His wrinkles deepened as he considered you.

“Take care of yourself, kiddo,” He said.

“I’ll try, dad,” You slowly parted from him and his hand fell from your shoulder. “Bye.”

You grabbed your coat and jacket at the door and looked back into the dining room. Your dad watched as you opened the door and disappeared out onto the street.  _Well, there wasn’t as much at stake as you thought._

-

_‘Dear Mom, Dad, Gia, or whoever finds this letter,_

_If I’m missing or dead, I want this to be a record of why. If this man gets the best of me, I want there to be a chance that someone might get him.’_

Your hand hovered over the paper as you thought. The small book light lit your words as you sat in the dark. The mattress was lumpy, its time on the floor had worsened its springs. You flicked your pen against your lip and bit the cap. Slowly, you pressed the ballpoint to the paper again.

_‘It happened up north, on vacation with my friends, Kaya, Camile, Milani, and Corette, as well as my sister, Gia. They do not know what happened but they can confirm that they left me alone for several hours to visit the beach. During which I was accosted and assaulted by the fugitive known as Steve Rogers. He was bleeding and left me bleeding in turn._

_I returned at the end of the week to the apartment I shared with my boyfriend, Ethan. For a few weeks, my life was the same as it was. But then he appeared again, broke into my apartment, and assaulted both me and Ethan. He made Ethan watch as he raped me and this led to the end of that relationship._

_Thereafter, living on my own and without witness, I was visited almost weekly by Steve Rogers. He introduced himself to those I knew as Nick and coerced me into hiding his identity. If you capture him, you will find footage of at least one of his assaults on his phone. You will also find that he once more assaulted Ethan at one of my family’s events._

_You will also note my correspondence with Stark Industries. They can provide you with a full transcript as I have erased all evidence on my end to keep myself safe. If they have failed to aid me in capturing the fugitive, then this letter will be of use to you. I only hope that he is caught before he can do this to someone else._

_In the event that this letter is read, I want my family to know that I love them. I am sorry I didn’t tell them the truth but it was for their own safety.’_

You leaned back against the pillow and re-read the letter. You shivered and folded it up carefully. Your last testament. All that would remain of you should this all go to shit. You got up and tucked folded the paper up so that it fit behind the upholstery of your jewelry box. When Steve arrived, you’d text your mother your hiding spot. You only prayed Steve didn’t discover it first.

-

It was your day off. You didn’t sleep and so you showered and dressed early. Unsure of when the bell would toll, you determined to make what could be your last day to yourself entirely self-indulgent.

You spent an hour in the bookstore. It was ages since you visited the familiar aisles, browsed old titles and new. You still hadn’t read the last haul of books you’d taken home with you. You weren’t sure you ever would but the smell of paperback comforted you. It reminded you of a time before; the alphabetized spines were the only order in your chaotic life.

You paid for a collection of Poe’s stories and made your way to the cafe next door. Many of the bookstore’s patrons ended up here. It was bustling that day but many took their coffee to go. You ordered a tea and sat in the corner, a round-backed armchair with another beside it. Empty.

It was easy to feel lonely these days. With a secret you couldn’t share with anyone; a torment you faced on your own. You left your tea to cool on the small table between the chairs and opened the book. Many of these tales you’d read before but each time you read them, they felt new again, though the sense of horror was nothing compared to that you faced outside the pages.

_“You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded –with what caution –with what foresight –with what dissimulation I went to work!”_

You began to slump in your chair as you read the descent into madness, the almost inhuman insanity did not seem so fantastical anymore. Perhaps, Poe’s horror wasn’t fictional, but a reflection of the depths of humanity. Of how low one could sink when their soul is corrupted.

A shadow moved beside you and a cup was placed next to yours. The book fell closed around your finger as you let it rest in your lap. You stared over at your villain. Steve sat down heavily and smirked over at you.

“Is this what you do with your free time?” He asked as he ran his hands along his thighs, smoothing the wrinkles from the worn denim. 

You pulled your finger from the pages without marking your place and set the small volume behind your cup. You took your tea and sipped as you looked around the cafe. “It’s what I’m doing today.”

“It’s been a while,” He remarked as he picked up his own cup and cradled it just above his lap. “Do you think this will save you?”

You turned and squinted at him. You drank again. The tea was lukewarm and acidic. “Save me?” 

“All these people,” He glanced around. “Do you think that will stop me?”

“I know it won’t,” You replied and took another gulp before setting aside the dregs to cool entirely. “So what are you waiting for?”

He laughed and raised his mug to his lips. He drank the dark coffee and placed his mug next to yours. “You don’t give up, do you?”

“And neither do you,” You countered. 

“I don’t,” He said as he leaned over the arm of his chair. “And let me assure you, I’ve dealt with people far more formidable than you, girl.”

You nodded. This was what he did. He enjoyed it; taunting you. “I’m sure you have.” You examined the lines of your palm. You itched to grab your phone but could not make it so obvious. “Where have you been, anyway?”

“Doing my valiant duty. Saving the people who need saving.” He said smugly. “You know, the ones I was outlawed from helping. This world seems to have forgotten that without me, they’d be in ruins.”

“Is that how you make it okay in your head?” You looked at him. “Hmm? This?”

“This is what I’m owed. You. A single life for the millions I’ve saved.” He reached over and touched your arm, his fingers danced along your shoulder. “I’m fucking hard already.” He pulled away and pushed himself to his feet. “Meet me in the mens’.”

He turned and strutted away as you watched him. His broad shoulders disappeared down the narrow hallway that led to the facilities. You sighed and grabbed the book of horror stories from the table. 

You stared at the cover, the silhouette of a raven. A bad omen; a harbinger of warfare, of death. You grabbed your purse and replaced the book on the table. You didn’t need horror stories; you were living one of your own.

The walk along the hallway seemed longer than six steps. The clinking and steaming of the cafe kitchen disguised your footsteps. You passed the ladies’ and stopped in front of the mens’. You didn’t knock but stepped inside with resignation. 

_Was this the climax of your story? How then should the denouement bring you lower?_

Steve reached over your head and pushed the door closed as you entered. His hand slipped down and turned the lock with a loud click. He grabbed your arm and yanked you away from the door as he turned you to face the small sink.  You dropped your purse as you gripped the porcelain.

You looked in the mirror at yourself as he let go and hastily undid his fly. “Come on,” He tugged your shirt up and grabbed the waist of your jeans. 

You flicked open your fly as he shoved your pants past your ass. The heat of his body surrounded you. You looked up. Your eyes weren’t yours. They were dark and haunted. Your features were marred by shadows. You felt hollow as his hand brushed against you and he pushed your shoulders forward.

You closed your eyes as he entered you. It hurt. You were dry and he was impatient. It took him a few thrusts to reach his limit. His hand went to the back of your neck as you shuddered and grasped the sides of the sink. He crushed your hips against the porcelain as his hushed grunts floated above you.

“Fuck,” He swore as he slipped his hand around your front. He felt between your folds and rubbed your clit. “I should’ve come yesterday.”

You bit your lip as you hung your head forward. You kept your eyes shut as each thrust came harder than the last. The cold porcelain grew slick beneath your palms. You slid forward, your face closer to the mirror. His hand crept around your neck and your back arched as his fingers tightened at your throat.

Your breath whisked from you as the sounds of the cafe crept in beneath the door. You felt yourself slicken around his cock. Your body worked against you. His flesh slapped loudly against your ass. You couldn’t stifle the heat as it flowed through you.

You gasped as he sped up. Your hands slipped as his left your neck. He caught your arms and held them back as he fucked you. 

“Open your eyes.” He growled. You shook your head and he jolted into you painfully and stopped. “I said open your eyes, girl.”

Your jaw set and you slowly opened your eyes. His blue eyes were cavernous as they stared back at you in the mirror. He began to move again. Your body rebelled and continued its ascent. You breathed through your nose, trying to muffle your pleasure as he ripped it from your flesh. You squeaked and trembled as you came. He watched, pleased at your surrender.

He pulled you away from the sink. He dropped your arms and wrapped his around your middle as he rutted into you. You reached back to touch his thighs, pleading wordlessly for him to slow down as each thrust sent a ripple through you. 

He jerked against you and spasmed as he threw his head back. He hissed as he came and rocked his hips slowly as he spilled inside you. You were weak as he released you and you stumbled forward as he pulled out. 

He chuckled as you caught yourself on the sink and his cum dripped down onto your panties and jeans. He edged you out of his way as he grabbed a paper towel and turned the faucet. You took some toilet paper and turned away from him as he cleaned himself up. You tried to do the same but still felt dirty when you were done.

“I’ll be out there,” He said as he zipped his fly up. “There’s an alarm on the fire escape so let’s not play games.”

“Alright,” You grumbled if only to get him to leave.

The locked clicked and the door opened and closed. You wiped off your panties and jeans as best as you could and pulled them up. You locked the door and grabbed your purse off the tile. You dug around and found your phone buried in the mess. 

You leaned against the wall as you typed in the single word. You stared at it as your thumb hovered over ‘send’. Once it went through, you had less than an hour before agents descended on your apartment. You sent the second, the one for your mother and shoved your phone away. 

However this ended, Steve would no longer be your personal scourge.

-

The car ride was silent. It always was with him. It was better that way. The only words he had for you were cruel. You kept your eyes forward and watched the road through the windshield. Play it cool. This was the hardest part. The anxiety. The impatience. For your doom or his.

Your building was a spectre against the grey sky. A storm was moving in. You got out and he followed. The usual smack on your ass. You pulled out your keys as he pushed himself against you. He was hard again.

“We’ll have some fun on your day off,” He teased as you unlocked the door. “Better than your books.”

You stayed quiet. He didn’t expect an answer. He knew you wouldn’t. This routine had become too familiar. Too rehearsed. Too easy.

You led him up the stairs. With each, your heart beat just a little quicker. The keys jingled in your hand and you realized your were shaking. You stopped in front of your door to gather yourself and find the right key on the ring. He leaned against the wall and ran a finger down your side.

“You’re…excited,” He mused. “I can hear your heart racing.”

You looked over at him, the key poised just before the lock. “You can?”

“Yeah. I hear a lot, you know? Your heart, the blood flowing through your veins, your breath before it rises,” He smirked and you slid the key into the bolt and turned. “Serum gave me a lot more than muscles, didn’t it?”

He flicked your chin playfully and drew away. You held back your retort and stepped inside. Your apartment was as you left it, not a single speck of dust missing. You blinked as you entered the small living room. A furtive glance to the windows. 

_Did they get your message? Were they really coming?_

Steve walked around the room as he stretched his arms above him. You watched him as he strolled around the small space. He neared the window and looked out, his figure a wraith against the grim sky. He twisted the plastic rod and the blinds closed.

He turned back to you and his hands went to his hips. That classic stance you’d seen on posters. _Captain America. The saviour of the world._  He laughed.

“You’re heart is still going,” He slowly inched across the room. “Faster now. Fuck, you’re gonna have a fit, girl.”

You swallowed, your mouth dry as you gripped your purse. You looked down and saw your phone through the open zipper. You couldn’t just pull it out and check. You hadn’t felt a vibration. 

He neared, his shoes decisive against the hardwood. He was like a hawk circling. You looked up and backed away as he came closer.

“You really think Tony Stark would believe some small town girl?” Steve grinned and your chest clenched. “Hmm? You think you’re some spy with your code words and your covert messages? Your plan to have them storm your pathetic apartment?”

Your lips parted in shock as if you’d been slapped.  _No…_  Your flesh turned to stone as you met the wall and pressed yourself to it. 

“I’ve faced real spies. Let me tell you, Hydra was a lot more intimidating but I tossed them on their asses. But you, you think  _you_  can bring me down?” He chuckled as his hand came up to grip your chin. “What do you think I could do to you?”

Tears rose along your lower lids and your lip trembled. You should’ve known. It was too easy. Another trick. A bug on your phone; your computer, too. He knew it all and you were too desperate to think. Stupid.

“Think of what I’ve already done,” He leaned in so that his nose was almost touching yours. “Of what I’m going to do now.” He pressed his forehead to yours. “It’s over, girl. Just like you wanted it.”

He pulled away, his hands balled as he glared down at you. His chest rose and fell as his jaw ticked. You wiped away the tears before they could fall and sniffed. You stood straight as you looked back at him defiantly.

“Fine,” You declared. “Then end it.”

You were stunned as his fist met your jaw. Your stumbled back and your head hit the wall. You slid down slowly as your legs turned to jelly and the room faded slowly before your eyes. You gripped your pounding skull as the strength drained from you. You looked up at Steve as he loomed over you and your vision swam with stars.

“You really thought you could get away from me?” He knelt as your eyes began to roll back, his voice floated in your ears and into the void. 

-

When you awoke, the world was moving. When you awoke, you were shocked.  _Were you really alive or was this the purgatory you’d always denied?_  Your head lolled and you stared at the driver of the car.  _No, you were still painfully alive._

Steve’s features were limned in sunlight. It was either a new day or a new place. His blue eyes bore into the winding highway ahead. Your jaw ached terribly and your head felt like it was full of cement. You babbled weakly.

Your hands were tied together. Your ankles too. The seat belt was buckled around you and kept you from sliding down the seat.

“I really thought I might’ve killed you,” He said. “I hit you a bit harder than I meant to.”

You grumbled. No words would come.

“That’d be too easy. I’ve been too easy on you and you didn’t appreciate it at all. I let you stay in your shit hole apartment, let you see your family, let you live your life when it’s not your life. It’s mine.” The steering wheel groaned as he gripped it tighter. “You’re mine.”

You mumbled and felt the sting of tears as the world closed in on you.

“It’s all over now, girl,” Your eyes closed again. “You don’t even know how good you had it.”

His words were scribbled across your dreams as you sank back into unconsciousness. You dozed and woke at intervals. He allowed you a drink of water from a bottle and a piss on the side of the road. You barely recalled the stops as your world was clouded in shock and pain.

You were shaken awake for the last time. Your door was open and Steve felt along your jaw roughly. 

“It’s not broken.” He stated and unbuckled the seat belt. “See, another thing to be thankful for.”

“Steve,” You rasped. “Please…”

“Please, shut up,” He spat and pulled you out of the car. “Come on, hop, bunny.”

He tugged you forward and you were forced to hop on your bound feet. There was a farmhouse just ahead; long-abandoned and slanted. The fields were overgrown with weeds. This was where he’d leave you. 

“Just get it over with,” Your words were clumsy through your swollen jaw.

He didn’t reply and continued to drag you towards the barn. He slid the door open enough to angle you through. He led you to the corner where a pile of rotted boards rested. He let go of you and you wobbled on your feet as he began to move the rubble.

Beneath was a small hatch. This was tornado country. These vaults were built decades ago to keep families safe when the sirens sounded. Except the hatch was more than the usual wooden door; it was metal, shiny and new, a bolt on its face.

He took a key out and unlocked the hatch. He turned and bent to pick you up. He slung you over his shoulder and your head spun. He slowly carried you down the steps. He put you back on your feet and you wavered. 

The light from above lit the shadows. There were shelves along the far wall, illegible packets and cans lined the middle shelf. A bed sat a foot from the shelves against the wall; a metal frame with a thin mattress. A toilet was attached to the wall along with a small sink. A single lightbulb hung from the ceiling.

Steve untied your hands and your feet. He stood and shoved you towards the middle of the room. You caught yourself on the bed frame and turned back.

“Welcome home,” His smile was sinister in the dim. 

“No,” You gasped and neared him. He pushed you back easily and you fell on your ass. “Please, don’t do this. Just kill me, please.”

“Kill you? I never wanted that,” He scoffed and turned to set his foot on the bottom step. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back to check on you. Now and then.”

He started to climb the steps and you got up unsteadily. As he reached the top, you grabbed onto the stairs and tried to come up after him.

“I’ll throw you back down,” He warned as he pulled on the steps and slowly raised them. You clung to them as he tried to wriggle them away from you. “You’ll be worse off if I break something.”

“Steve, you can’t–” Slivers embedded in your skin as he yanked the steps free from you and raised them up after him.

“Now, now, girl,” He knelt and looked through the hatch at you. “Is there anything I  _can’t_  do?” He slowly lifted the door as he spoke. “Don’t you worry, I’ll keep an eye on the family for you.” He taunted as he slowly closed the door, the light draining away inch by inch. “Be good and I’ll let you know.”

He dropped the door entirely and it clanged shut. The lock turned and you were left in darkness. Tears rolled down your eyes and light sparked in your blurred vision. The light bulb crackled to life above you, a small beacon in the pit. You could hear him moving the boards back onto the hatch.

You turned blindly and fell onto the bed. You were poked by the corner of a familiar shape. You sat up and grabbed the book from atop the thin blanket. The silhouette of the raven shone beneath the wire. The book fell open as your sight came clearer through the tears. The world clearer through the dark. The scraping and steps above faded away.

_“Then silence, and stillness, and night were the universe.”_


End file.
